Musings by Margaret Mary

Griffin is Growing UP and I Don't Like it

2009-08-26T10:49:00.022-04:00

This is Griffin at age 4 at Disneyland...

Here are the best buddies at football...age 5?

This Griffin and his little bro, Cooper and his best-buddy/next-door neighbor, Kendrick....last year..first day of school...

Here are the guys last spring, again...waiting on the school bus...

TODAY...3rd graders excited about their first day of school...still with Cooper cheering them on!

Annie & Sean are movie stars

2009-08-13T21:23:00.009-04:00

Annie - "Miss Scooter Girl", plays the part of a Hooter-type waitress in a local movie shoot...she delivers food and beverage via a kids scooter..and as a "Scooter Girl In Training", she proceeds to accidentally pour a drink on a customer and there is a domino effect of two other scooter girls crashing into each other with beverages and food flying. Annie played her part well..but probably because of the practice of Cooper's scooter at home finding it's way to strange places

Annie and her Scooter-Girl-In-Training comrade, Debbie Duke, fighting it out in the bar's boxing ring...

Sean plays a handsome fellow (type-casting..didn't need much make-up at all) and is a Baptist preacher who feels compelled to enter a local Poker tournament in a disguise...
Does he win all the money and a chance to go to Las Vegas??

Stay tuned...

Hurricane IKE - Local Clean-up

2008-09-18T04:38:00.004-04:00

The winds blew - trees snapped - roof tiles flew - but none of our family members were hurt. Thank you, God. A friend of Sean & Annie was injured as he was helping someone clean up their yard and he is likely to be paralyzed for life.

Time to count blessings and not missing roof tiles.

Closing Remarks

2008-09-07T08:48:00.003-04:00

When I was a puppy and was lucky enough to travel down to Florida with my parents, the highways of today were just being built. We would drive along some of the "new" I-75 stretches for about 50 miles and then we would see the dreaded two words, "ROAD CLOSED". They became like swear words to us.
The funny thing is, when we got off the main road and drove at a slower pace, we actually saw more of the rural area and it wasn't so bad...other than not arriving an hour earlier than we would have.

Today is my last blog post ~ for a while, anyway.
I am getting off the road for a bit to take a look around at other stuff.
My current travel on this course isn't getting me to the destination that I need to be.

But I must say, it's been a kick!

School is In Session and Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-09-04T21:38:00.005-04:00

Funny Test Answers From Children - Mainly Science and Health

* For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

* For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

* For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

* For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

* We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

* If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

* Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

* To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

* To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

* Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

* * "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

* The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

* Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

* To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

* When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

Keep notes this year as to what your kids say...you could write a book! Have a great weekend! :)

Politics Confuses Me...Fact vs. S T R E T C H ?

2008-09-04T05:21:00.004-04:00

I'm just trying to find the truth...and maybe the two conventions aren't exactly the place to find anything but pandering...from both sides. (this is a bi-partisan observance)
I was impressed with Governor Palin's speech..just like I was impressed with Sen. Obama's speech 4 years ago at the Democratic convention.
How can I find an unbiased fact-checker?
I don't know if it's this fellow who works for the Associated Press or if he is just out to confuse me more!

By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

___

Associated Press Writer Jim Drinkard in Washington contributed to this report.

Traitor Joe

2008-09-03T03:09:00.004-04:00

So, last night Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman sung an interesting song of praise for fellow old fart John McCain, while berating Senator Obama. He called Senator Obama a "young" untested Presidential candidate. I guess compared to McCain, ANYONE is young. Even young Joe Lieberman, at the tender age of 66 is a puppy compared to J.M.

I recently saw a t-shirt that said ~
"Average Life Expectancy of a male is 73.6 years
John McCain is 72 ~ You DO the Math"

A life insurance actuary would tell you that Mr. McCain's life expectancy is actually 83 years old since he has made it this far...but with his health history and stress factors, ??? Of course, he does relieve his stress by letting go of the ole temper now and then.

But I digress...

It seems ironic that Joe, the democrat, is coming out with guns blazing against his own party's candidate. I wonder how his constituents feel about that back in his home state...you know, the people who voted for him to represent them. But what seems doubly ironic (if that is possible) is that he called this 47 year old, Harvard magna cum laude Law school graduate, 8 year state senator, 3 and 1/2 year U.S. Senator "young" and untested.
And the possible (maybe PROBABLE) Republican Presidential candidate, albeit it as an understudy role, is 44 with a bio that includes her sinking the winning shot at the free throw line in a high school basketball game when she had a sprained ankle. Who puts that stuff in a bio? Maybe someone who is YOUNG and had LITTLE experience?
Oh, yeah, she graduated with a journalism degree too.
When you look at her policies, it just notes that she is pro-life and interested in energy conservation.
Well now, doesn't that about cover all the issues that a senator in Washington is exposed to also. NOT!
I do not care that she is a woman...or that she has a 17 year old daughter who is pregnant..or that she eloped at age 24 and gave birth 8 months later. That is for the silly media to hype. I care that she has no clue about anything beyond her PTA and backyard oil drilling.

Now, back to Uncle Joe....Here is what Senator Lieberman said about Mr. Obama in 2006:

“As far as I’m concerned [Barack Obama] is a ‘Baruch,’ which means a blessing. He is a blessing to the United States Senate, to America, and to our shared hopes for better, safer tomorrows for all our families. The gifts that God has given to Barack Obama are as enormous as his future is unlimited. As his mentor, as his colleague, as his friend, I look forward to helping him reach to the stars and realize not just the dreams he has for himself, but the dreams we all have for him and our blessed country.”

Interesting, eh?

Here Comes The Bride....Down a Strange Aisle

2008-09-03T00:21:00.007-04:00

Ah, yes...the dream wedding.
Little girls have thought about that "big day" when they walk down the aisle toward her Prince Charming while the organ music announces her arrival and the guests ready their hankies to dab their eyes. Every minute detail of the perfect setting for this once in a lifetime day has been planned and re-planned.

As that little girl grows older, maybe the wedding day takes a little different turn in her mind. Maybe she won't wear a strapless gown but an off-the-shoulder dress. Maybe she will replace the organ music with a string quartet providing the mood for the walk down the aisle.
Maybe she'll get married in a cute little chapel in the woods...or on the beach at sunrise...or at the local zoo...or parachuting over the grand canyon...something really creative...

or

in a funeral home.

WHAT??? Are you nuts? Have you lost your last brain cell?!!??

Well, hold on to your veils, my friends...I just read (TRUE STORY) a news article about a couple in Michigan who decided to exchange their vows in a funeral home (since it is now football season, Ohio State fans are saying, "that figures...it had to be a MICHIGAN couple").

And why not?
It's just a big room with lots of chairs and one long funny looking elevated couch with a lid.
Flowers for the big day would more than likely be easily and cheaply acquired.
Parking should not be a problem.
Ice for the cocktails should be plentiful.

I don't know about this being the perfect venue for the start of what one hopes would be "the best day of my life".

I'm afraid that in the receiving line, some may be tempted to refer to the groom as one lucky stiff ~ or maybe inadvertently tell the bride that she looked "so peaceful"...

What ever happened to Church weddings?

T.V. Troubles

2008-09-01T10:16:00.004-04:00

Give me back my black and white, three channel TV set with no remote and "rabbit ear" antennas that needed aluminum foil on the tips ~ with someone having to sit in just the right spot, holding a golf club in the air to acquire even a fuzzy reception.

WHY, you may query, do I want to step back in retro time?
Because I wouldn't have spent half of my life during these past 4 days on the phone with Time Warner Cable trying to get my High Definition, big screen, 328 channel TV to turn ON.

There was a total of 5 phone calls that added up to 2 hours & 14 minutes of blah, blah. We finally discovered that a Time Warner "technician" had cut our cable while attempting to accommodate our next-door neighbor with better reception. Now, our neighbors are enjoying crisp, clear television pictures and I have finished reading all 213 books that I have been meaning to get to ~ and am down to reading back issues of Readers Digest (from 1984 and 1992) along with a couple of issues that belong to my 3 year old great-nephew Cooper's Highlights Magazine for Children.

I think this may speak to my being way to dependent on the talking screen. Since I have the TV back in working order, I have been glued to the Weather Channel and i refuse to turn the set off for fear that it won't turn back on.

I just heard a woman weather reporter mention that one of her reporters playing outside while Hurricane Gustav is moving in is being "spanked" by the frisky winds.
Wow....I can't even enjoy a good weather report without it needing to be screened for language content.

Back to needing television of the old days ~ including when we didn't know if it was snowing on the football field or if it was our reception.

Olympic Articulation?

2008-08-29T10:40:00.002-04:00

Some interesting comments made around the Olympic venues in China ~

1. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak
from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

2. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father.'

3. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some
deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

4. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again.'

5. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

OK, Ok ~ I Admit That I Am Spoiled

2008-08-28T14:21:00.003-04:00

Spoiled? Yes, I am. My name is Peggy and I am s-p-o-i-l-e-d. My Dad used to say "you're not spoiled..it's just your perfume"....get it? Spoiled as in food smelling bad?

I returned from a nice three day respite and one of the places that we stayed had a TV as big as a matchbook and no cable. That was OK...I was in the mood to relax with a good book anyway.
Upon my return I raced to the nearest TV (one of six in the house) and it looked at me
with a very blank expression. Well, not TOTALLY blank..it said "No signal". I called Time Warner Cable and after 42 minutes of the customer service rep having me unplug and plug and do everything but sing songs to the cable box, she told me it was broken. Yesterday was Wednesday and she told me a repairman could come out on Saturday. After much cajoling, she put me on the all-day list for today. I needed to be at home from 8 a.m. - 10 p.m. She promised that sometime in that 14 hour span of time, a cheery, knowledgeable technician would fix my cable problem.
Today I called at 12 noon and asked where I was on the list and the customer service person told me that I was booted off the list because it wasn't an "emergency".
I asked her what the deuce constituted "an emergency"~ a self-administered surgical procedure that the cast of ER was going to help guide me through?
(she never answered me)

Then I asked if anyone was going to call me to tell me that I didn't need to be a prisoner in my own home for another 10 hours and she said she didn't know who made those calls but she wasn't allowed to call out because she was too busy. I told her she was too busy answering MY PHONE call when she could have called me to prevent me being as irate as I am!

I then asked her another question...."Do you think that your department should be renamed?" (no answer)

"How about the NO CUSTOMER SERVICE department?" pause

"oh, I don't think so..that would make me look bad"

REALLY?!!????!!?

She told me that no one could help me until Tuesday now...whoops...she said "Oh, there was only one spot on Tuesday and I see by my computer screen that one is gone."

I said, "Please connect me to the cancellation department."

"Are you sure?", she cleverly responded.

"Oh, yes, 1000% sure and if I could afford someone to sky write "Time Warner Sucks" I would do it."

"OK, please hold."

The next guy on the phone (my new Super-Hero) listened patiently and said, "If I could get your cable fixed by tomorrow, will you stay with us?"

Yep...another 14 hour "window" of waiting for a cable "fix"...tomorrow...

We'll see...and I will keep my cable ~ until I can get another provider out to hook me up to DWTS.

I'm still stumped as to how my Super-Hero could get me on the books when there was no opening for 5 days?

I wonder how THAT happened?

The Case of The Missing Eyebrows

2008-08-27T07:57:00.005-04:00

This is serious.
My favorite set of eyebrows are missing.
I swear they were here above my eyes just a few years ago and little by little, they are being kidnapped.
I just wish the perpetrators would contact me for the ransom amount. I'm not sure how much I would give to get my precious eye accessories back, but I would consider a third mortgage on the house.

I only discovered the missing pair when I saw a picture of me (kinda cute, I might add) from 10 years ago and I gasped at the clear dark "Murphy" brows looking back at me. Now it's not like I haven't noticed that I have had to sharpen my eyebrow pencil on a daily basis and that the color gray on top of my head has moved slowly south to just above my eyes.

I am on a mission to capture those bandits who not only have borrowed my eyebrows but have been stealing my youth for the past 20 years.

The hunt is on...this may be the one case that could stump Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, Matlock and the team at Boston Legal. IF the thieves are caught, I sure would appreciate ALL of my "Stuff" being returned...including my memory card for my brain, my ability to articulate better and find the words that I want to use, my 1972 golf swing and concentration, my agility to play volleyball like Misty May-Treanor (OK, I never was that good at volleyball but a girl can dream, can't she?)...oh, and also my...

darn! I forgot.

What were we talking about?

Roughing It For a Few Days

2008-08-24T10:23:00.002-04:00

For those who know me (even for just 3 minutes), you know that I am NOT a camper. I don't even like to LOOK at camper-type vehicles that I pass on the highway. Camping congers up images of mosquito bites, cold baked beans and the smell of the great outdoors (stale, unwashed clothes) that with one whiff, would send a bear searching for deodorant.

Well, a friend convinced me to go away for a few days to a "cabin". To me a "cabin" is one notch up from a tent, which is no notch up from sleeping on sticks, rocks and raccoon tails.

I don't know if we will have running water, a flushing toilet, a shower with a pulsating shower-head, a microwave or satellite TV and a DVR..I'm suspecting we will be missing some,if not ALL of these comforts of home.

Where I currently live, I have lovely woods in the backyard, complete with a bird feeder if I want to see nature. I have 4 bathrooms and 1200 square feet of "Chuckie-Cheese"-like games. People would probably spend a lot of money to get away from their cabin in the woods for what I am blessed with 360 days out of the year.

I will keep you posted as to my "outdoor adventure"...I PRAY that fishing isn't part of this "Survivor Burr Oak" torture-vacation.

Wow! This News Story is News Weary

2008-08-22T11:32:00.002-04:00

I spotted the following article yesterday on Ocala.com when I was searching for information on the flooding in Florida. This news story wasn't exactly what I was looking for but...

From Ocala.com 8/21/08

OCALA –

“Ocala police say as John R. Herdmann rammed his sport utility vehicle into the front door of a convenience store and, once inside, stole two packs of Trojan condoms worth $2.99 each.

Herdmann, 37, of Ocala, was charged with commercial burglary and petit theft, according to a police report.

Shortly before 4 a.m. Thursday, a passerby called the Police Department and said he saw a man kick at the windows and doors of The Express Pantry and Deli, 15 S.W. 10th St., force his way in and exit a short time later.

The business owner was notified and met police officers at the store, where they watched surveillance video together. The video showed an SUV ramming the front door three times, before someone is seen getting out of the vehicle and entering the business.

While other officers were watching the video, Sgt. Johnnie Robinson found the suspect, later identified as Herdmann, hiding in the bushes at the intersection of Southwest Eighth Street and Southwest First Avenue.

Officers also found two packs of Trojan condoms on the ground.

Herdmann was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail.”

Sigh....That guy was really hard up for those Trojans, eh?

Tomato Surprise

2008-08-21T10:56:00.004-04:00

Will someone tell me why I decided to plant not one, but THREE tomato plants in the back "garden" this year?
I now have a trio of ENORMOUS "Jack-in-the-tomato-stalk" trees that are producing Texas-size tomatoes that are bursting at their seams. All of them have had to be staked and they are still falling over from the weight of these big boys. We couldn't find a stake that was 22' tall.

I feel like I'm on the bus with Forest Gump, talking about the 59 ways to prepare tomatoes (instead of shrimp). Tomato soup, tomatoes on the salad or as broiled appetizer with sprinkled parmesan cheese, tomatoes stuffed with chicken shrimp or tuna, tomatoes on a sandwich, tomatoes in an omelet, tomatoes in chili, spaghetti and on a pizza.

This is crazy. I don't even like tomatoes THAT much. I usually take them off my salad when I am out because I figure they are not "home-grown".

I always wondered about neighbors who usually ever talked to us would stop by with charitable smiles and a sack of tomatoes as a gift for us. Mom would mumble, shaking her head as they were out of ear-shot, "they do this every year when they don't know what else to do with their tomato crop"....then really low under her breath she would add, "I wish they had a still in their backyard instead of those plants."

And what about the "EAT-TOMATOES-AND-DIE" scare this summer?
So what were we thinking?

Ah, maybe it was in the spirit of the Olympics...thinking there is some kind of contest. We would HAVE to medal in this sport.

And to think, I still don't know if a tomato is a fruit or veggie...and now I don't care.

Olympic Medal Coming My Way

2008-08-19T10:09:00.002-04:00

These 2008 Summer Olympics have been so inspirational! I wish I were 8 years old again so I could choose a sport that I could compete in that would allow me to enjoy rubbing elbows with the greatest athletes in the world. It seems as though as the gold medal winners started training when they were still in the womb.

I saw a TV interview with the oldest woman competitor who was 53 and her sport was shooting a handgun. In four years I'll be 61 and don't EVER want to even touch a gun so that sport is out.

My niece-in-law, Anniebelle and I were saying that there MUST be a sport that we could train for and compete in during 2012 Olympics in London.
I decided I was a little "mature" for 99.9% of the events...Anniebelle has a much better chance a finding a sport that she could compete in since she is a fit 30-some-thing-year-old with previous gymnastic competition under her belt (she rarely wears a belt, so shall I say, "waistband"?).

Well, I THOUGHT that I had found the perfect sport ~ for me, anyway. Badmitton!
I saw 2 minutes of the womens singles and it looked like an old ladies sport to me.
I can remember when I was in my early 20's I bought a regulation badmitton set it up in my parents spacious and flat backyard. I meticulously measured where the lines should go and bought some kind of lime stuff to mark off the alleys (see? I KNOW the jargon! THAT should count for something!).

I'm trying to convince Anniebelle to be my womens doubles partner but I don't think she is taking this seriously.

I, on the other hand, am a woman on a mission. I have been researching the origin of the game (in case an interviewer asks me) and the correct terms and rules. (a lot like tennis only with a few exceptions (even though a player is supposed to win by 2, maximum score is 30-29 so no one gets worn out, I guess)

The other rather embarrassing fact that I found out is that I've been spelling "badmitton" incorrectly. The game is BadmiNton. Silly me. Sure glad I corrected THAT before the medal ceremony.

A disappointment is that it is a lot more expensive than I had anticipated. My thught was that I would get a badmiNton set from Wal-Mart for $20. and practice in Annie's yard with the kids...I was even thinking that a garage sale would be the perfect place to pick up the equipment.

Ha! The "competition" set includes ultra wonderful netting and stakes and two racquets and 4 birdies...er, I mean "shuttlecocks" (that term seems like if I say it, I need to go to confession). This professional set cost $230.00.
But alas, there is more...I need the correct lightweight, yet durable shoes and racquet bag t carry my 4 racquets (What? FOUR racquets?? I only have ONE hand to grip the sucker!)

The competitive racquets (I was erroneously spelling it "rackets" prior to my research) cost up to $600. Gulp.

Oh, and then I thought that I could just show up at some court in Cleveland for an Olympic audition...er, I mean "try-out". Oh, no...I have to enter and win some USBA sponsored tournaments and pay $200 entry fees just to hit a little birdie around before some "official" gives me my plane ticket and uniform for London!

Trying to find a badminton league around here just to ease into my training is more difficult than finding a Shakespeare play starring Carrot-top.

But I am not to be deterred. I am in need of sponsorship to help fund this endeavor and during my qualification process I will wear a badminton jersey that advertises whatever...probably denture cream at my age.

Any ideas?

The "Change" WIll Do You Good

2008-08-18T09:03:00.002-04:00

I find that I have change in my pocket every day and I put it in a cup, which is the adult version of a piggy bank.

The next morning I put a few quarters in my pocket (in case I see my 7 ear old great nephew Griffin and he needs some "arcade change"). See, I don't carry a purse because I am "right-shouldered" and I have an old sports injury that refuses to mend well and I have never been able to wear a purse on my left shoulder. Got it?

OK...so the other day I realized that I had about $42.37 in change in three mugs. Shouldn't I have a goal to inspire me to enjoy throwing money into a mug every night? You can tell all the interviews with the Olympic athletes has inspired me to actually start thinking about goals again (ah, I feel another blog post coming on)...

So, I decided that I want to join an outdoor community swimming pool in our area and by next May 31 when it officially opens, I am going to stand in line with my a wheelbarrow full of 59 mugs of coins to turn in to enjoy a summer of splashing.

This is going to be fun...until I want to order that rare (weekly) pizza and have no money.

Check in with me in three months, around Christmas time, to see how I'm doing. I hope I don't have to give away one of my mugs as a present to someone who surprised me with a gift and I have nothing for them.

Olympic Trivia

2008-08-12T20:16:00.002-04:00

Everyone seem to be enamored by Michael Phelps, the extraordinary swimmer who is breaking as many records as Jay Leno has automobiles.

Here is just an idea of what he has eaten for breakfast...
An excerpt from his book "Beneath The Surface"

"3 Sandwiches of fried eggs, lettuce, tomato, cheese, fried onions, and mayo. One omelete, a bowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast with powdered sugar, and wash that down with 3 chocolate chip pancakes."

Gulp...Swimming 5 hours a day may just assist a wee bit in helping him keep trim...
Just wait until retires and still has the enormous appetite. He can compete in Sumo wrestling later.

Here is some questions to see how well YOU do ~

1.What do the five rings of the Olympics mean?
A) Five Cities
B) Five Countries
C) Five Continents

2. What does the Olympic Motto "Citius, Altius, Fortius" mean?
A) Harder, Stronger, Faster
B) Swifter, Higher, Stronger
C) Better, Bigger Bolder

3. According to the Olympic Creed, the most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but...
A) to play fair
B) to win big
C) to take part

4. Where is the Olympic torch first lit?
A) Athens
B) Greece
C) Olympia

5. Women were first allowed to compete in the Olympics in what year?
A) 1800
B) 1900
C) 2000

Answers:
C
B
C
C
B

Back to the Tomatoes

2008-08-10T00:40:00.003-04:00

OK, now the three tomato plants in the backyard are 7 feet tall and we finally have one small tomato about as big as a golf ball on steroids.

The three plants came from three different kinds of seeds. Did you know that there are 4000 varieties of tomatoes? All of them are hybrids.
Since I am a gardener now, I act like I know what that term means. I suppose we should have given them plant food that was half gasoline and half electricity ~ but that would be silly.

The seed packets that we used for the three pots were called "Early Girl", "Big Boy" and "Better Boy". (I'm not kidding...look the names up yourself up! gardeners have a good sense of humor, I think)
I don't think that we should have positioned Early Girl inbetween the fellas because it seems that both Big Boy and Better boy are intimidated by the other and has become....er, shall we say, "Relaxed"? (Impotent, that is)

Who would know which one IS Better or Bigger since neither one wants to show his tomato! Maybe their vines aren't up to the challenge.

Now, Early Girl is putting out...various sizes, shapes and colors but none other than the wee one looks fit to eat.

It may be winter before we finally get enough tomatoes to put on one salad, never mind be one of those annoying neighbors who bring over 23 perfect tomatoes since their garden produced "soooo many more than they could possibly eat!"

Next year I'm growing dandelion wine.

I'll Trade You

2008-08-07T04:11:00.004-04:00

So, Brett Favre is trading in his green and yellow uniform for a New York Jets number on his back.

I've never understood professional sports when they trade a player to another team. From my limited understanding, the player is a commodity who has no input as to where or when he goes to work. There are horror stories reported about athletes who show up at their locker at work and it's been cleaned out with a note directing them to report to another team by noon the following day.

Can you imagine leaving home one day to go to the same job that you've had for 16 years where you have worked, traveled and spent personal time with the same 25 co-workers, only to find your desk empty except for the note saying "You are moving to... New York City...or no, maybe Colorado....or perhaps Miami." And there is a guy in your office hanging pictures in the place where you had yours.

You are going to do the same basic job (maybe) in this other city that you will call home....for a while, anyway.

Gulp.
One must have an understanding spouse,eh?
What to do with the house?
What do you say to the kids?
Where will you live?
What school should the kids go to?
What church, book club and bowling alley will be waiting for you?

I would be better if I knew that some of the management who decides on these "trades" were in the same position some time and got traded themselves.

I’ll stick to the security of living at one address and just watching these guys get dirty, broken and insecure on the playing fields.

I guess there are "pros" and cons to being a paid athlete.

Now maybe consider going to give your boss some sugar.

Prize Tomato Plant

2008-08-06T17:40:00.003-04:00

A few years ago, there was quite a contest between my Mom, my friend Susan and myself as to who could grow the strongest and most "productive" tomato plant.
One Sunday afternoon we all went out and bought our little tomato-ettes and planted them in three separate pots. For those of you who know me, even just a little, you realize that I am allergic to garndening. Look, I can't even spell it...

My hand starts to shake with the thought of getting dirt under my nails. Now I know that one can wear "gardening" gloves (whew, I spelled it correctly that time) but I don't like the feel of that material.

What the heck, this was a competition and I'm ALWAYS up for that!
So we all did our thing and Dad took pictures of us acting like the Martha Stewarts of tomato planters. See? I cannot even think of ONE person who is well-known for their gardening expertise. Pretty sad, eh?

The plants were all side by side on Mom's deck and Dad was responsible for watering my plant. He was given strict instructions NOT to sing to it.

Every Sunday if we weren't in town for the measurement of the week to see whose plant was thriving the best, we would have a telephone conference call.

As the weeks passed, Susan and I were both informed that tomatoes were at full bloom and it was time to name the winner of this hot-housely contested match.

We arrived with confident expectations and Dad ceremoniously marched us all out to the deck with our promise to close our eyes until he revealed the winner.

As he said, "Open your eyes", I gasped the three plants. There was Mom's in the middle and at first glance, it LOOKED to be the exact same size as both of ours...but it had at LEAST 29 ruby red ripe tomatoes adorning it like a tired Christmas Tree that was about to fall over from all the ornaments.

I quickly ascertained that Susan and my plants both had maybe 6 tomatoes in varying degrees of greeness and ripeness.

I was stunned at the depth of this defeat. How could it be? What plant food did she use? Maybe she resurrected the Jolly Green Giant?

Then I glanced at my Dad's twinkling eyes and slow grin...and Mom's sheepishly guilty look.

As I looked closer at Mom's Tomatoes on steroids, I noticed that ....
Yup...these were store-bought tomatoes that Dad had somehow rigged to look like they were the real thing.

I can't look at a tomato to this day without thinking of that moment.

Good one, Pop.

Missing Person

2008-08-05T11:00:00.005-04:00

Has anyone seen this woman?
She has been known to frequent Oxford, Ohio during the school year, posing as a caring elementary school teacher. She supposedly lives in Cincinnati but her friends in West Chester haven't seen her since God was a Child.

She has been rumored to be dating some hottie fella who actually is NOT a plumber.

Ah, the memories we hold of the good times when spent in the company of Jana Orwig. (really, that's her name)

OH, Jana, oh Jana, please come back to our fold
Our days are so empty, and we feel left out in the cold.
If you were to visit, we would celebrate in style
Letting you hog the karaoke mike, if only for a while.

Friendships are like spring flowers
they need tender loving care
If you don't call pretty quick,
you will be cursed with losing your hair.

Please, if anyone knows where our missing child is, we would love to see her.

No Free Lunch

2008-08-03T13:38:00.003-04:00

I understand the term that "the best things in life are free" ~
A newborn's smile (that might be gas) ~
A close parking place when you are in a hurry (and it's NOT a handicap space)~
A bobble head of your favorite ball player..if you are one of the first 400 kids paying $44./ticket to get into the venue.
A gentle, comforting pat on the shoulder when it's needed most.

And a FREE CAR WASH WITH ANY GAS PURCHASE ~ NO MINIMUM fill up at the local gas station.
I could literally spend 1 penny putting dripping in my tank and am allowed a free drive- through car wash..."look, Ma, no hands!"

I like to have a clean car. I will get my car washed at least once every two weeks and more often than not, once a week. So when I saw a Shell gas station just 4 miles down the road offering FREE CAR WASH...NO MINIMUM GAS PURCHASE, I almost wept with joy. With gas prices hovering around $4.00/gallon, it soothed the burn that scorched my pocketbook out $53.00 price for a fill-up. I started to calculate that if I put 10 gallons of gas in my tank, I could rationalize that it actually was 50 cents a gallon less since I could use the car wash that I would normally pay $5.00 for! I was almost laughing an evil laugh at people who were using the gas station across the street and not getting a car wash, even if they paid 20 cents less a gallon than I did.

And then it happened...the statement that will haunt me forever.

"There is no free lunch."
I drove by my "cleanliness is next to Godliness" station and it had CLOSED. No gas...no car wash...no cigarettes (even though I don't smoke)...

Sigh.

I guess I will have to look elsewhere for my freebies...

An Amusing Night

2008-08-01T11:12:00.003-04:00

Last night I went to our local amusement park, Kings Island, with a friend.
Today I am taking out a second mortgage.

We had decided to go to our local "Disney-World-Wanna-Be" attraction since they had a $15.00 entry fee special if you arrived after 5 p.m.
Usually, the one day ticket price is $49.99 although no one actually pays that astronomical amount. There are discounts available from every grocery chain and if you check out their website, they have 7 different prices depending on how old you are, how tall (or short) you are, how much you weigh, when your birthday is and what your favorite color might be. One needs a masters degree in ticket-price-reading to
figure out the "best deal".

OK, so we get in line for parking and that is $10.00 unless you want to park within two miles, then it's $15.00. No shuttle service is provided from the parking lot to the entrance. I guess the management feels that visitors don't mind walking a warm-up mile or two before walking the 23 miles while inside the park.

We went to three free 30 minute shows. The first one was 16 kids (17-19 yrs old) singing and dancing to 1980's music. That must have been fun for them, since they were not even a gleam in the eyes of their parents. They tried their best but American Idol contestants don't need to be threatened by these performers.

While walking around we passed a tempting food shack that had no line so we decided to split one soft pretzel and one bottle of water. $8.65.

The second performance was an ice skating show with skaters between 20-30 and one 40 year old fella who smiled kinda funny at the girls. It was fairly good and nice to imagine ice not melting with the temperature outside hitting 93 degrees.

Now it was time to sample some Kings Island dinner fare while we waited for the next show, so we spent $25.28 for a sandwich and 2 adult beverages.

The final entertainment was called "Girls Night Out" and they weren't kidding. There were four 13-15 year olds "girls" who tried to shake it like they were at a country line dancing bordello while attempting to sing. It didn't work so very well and at times I felt embarrassed for them.

So, off we went to the arcade area to watch people spend $5.00 to throw a 15" basketball into a 15" hoop...time and time again. Guys actually walked away shaking their heads mumbling, "I make every one of those shots in my driveway!"
I kept wondering where people were printing out their $$ after the entrance fee, parking and food prices.

We went on one ride through a haunted house and while we were in line, there was a couple with two children and as we waited, we found out they were dating. They had driven from 3 hours away to spend TWO days from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. "in amusement park hell" as the girlfriend admitted. I could tell she was hot, tired, inpatient with the kids hanging on her after two days of "torture". Now her boyfriend thought that this was the best vacation-date he could provide for them and he was going to squeeze every minute of fun out of his alloted budget.

I'm guessing next week his girlfriend may not return his calls.

My friend, Susan looks quite a bit younger than her 57 years. So when I saw a hawker bragging how he could guess her age for $5.00 or she could have her pick of the 9,358 stuffed animals, I spent the money to "stake that bet". He guessed that she was 45.
The stuffed dog that Susan won is called "Priceless"

All in all, we spent $82.00 for a very entertaining 4 and 1/2 hours.

And I would do it again in a heartbeat.

The Times They Are a-Changin'

2008-07-29T10:16:00.003-04:00

Last night we hosted a pot luck dinner for 11 neighbors who ALL have a pension for chattering (and at times, somewhat loudly). You people reading this post in the state of Washington might have heard some of the conversation.

Most people brought some kind of food or drink to be enjoyed by all. There were TWO delicious salads, two kinds of chicken, a potato casserole, tasty green beans, buttery crescent rolls, a delectable veggie tray, an appetizer that propelled one woman to lick the plate...topped off by scrumptious water melon slices and two desserts that had all of us promising to "up" the exercise program this week.

I had just ONE observation. Not one person brought something in a POT. I guess the term "pot luck" is an older reference to when people brought pots of salad?

Anyway, I will be thinking of an updated term for this gathering because it was so fun, I want to have another one soon.

Maybe we all bring our favorite pizza and it can be called a "Pizza Luck"?

(it would be easier on the hostess when cleaning up...but I'm not complaining!)

The Best Last Lecture

2008-07-28T10:30:00.004-04:00

Randy Pausch died last week at the age of 47. He leaves behind his wife and three young children ~ and an inspirational lecture that could change your life.

He is best known as the Carnegie Mellon University professor who was dying of pancreatic cancer and delivered a "last lecture" to his students. Now this lecture has lead to the publishing of his book.

Pausch told USA TODAY during an interview at his home in March that the now-famous lecture was never meant for public consumption, nor was it for his colleagues or students. It was for his two sons and daughter: Dylan, 6, Logan, 3, and Chloe, 2. "If people are finding inspiration, OK, but the book is for my kids," Pausch said.

"I knew what I was doing that day," he wrote in the introduction of his best-selling book, also titled The Last Lecture. "Under the ruse of giving an academic lecture, I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children."

WOW.

He made a comment that he knew that he was dying and that his family would have to deal with a huge "fall" and he would not be there to catch them...but at least he could spend his last days sewing a net for them.

ABC is dedicating an hour tomorrow, Tuesday, July 29, at 10 p.m. to his story. Set your VCR's DVR's or tune in...it might just be worth your time to see how he spent HIS.

15 Years of Joy

2008-07-25T08:33:00.005-04:00

It's Bailey's 15th birthday!

This little fella has given me companionship, unconditional love, gut-busting laughter and many lessons about patience and care-giving.

He was so trainable that he was house-broken in 3 days.

We used to call him a government employee as he shred everything in sight for a few months.

He has given us a few worries in that he has had two ACL surgeries on his back knees (flag canine football, going out for a pass) and one operation for kidney stones but he has all his teeth.

Although is official name is Sir Bailey Brute, he has many nicknames including Buster Brown, Scooter (never mind WHY), Bruster and Henry (I made up that last one).

I know people say, "he is just a dog....blah, blah.."

But remember, D O G spelled backwards is __ ___ ___.

Maybe too much kibbles and bones in anticipation of a big celebration?

Swimming Among Friends

2008-07-22T12:40:00.003-04:00

I have always enjoyed swimming...maybe it started with Dad's little swimmers that raced to meet their egg of choice to produce this zygote.
I digress...a lot.

Anyway, every summer the local swimming pool was our hang-out of choice and to quote a great song, "those WERE the days, my friend, I thought they's never end, we'd swim and dive forever and a day" (author's editorial rights imposed there).
Later, 50 years later, I still enjoy the a little splash at the local swimming hole.
Yesterday I saw a youngster aka "whipper-snapper", sneeze 8 times right into the water. I don't know why that bothered me so much as the water color was not what one could call "crystal clear". In fact, the more I stared at this murky water, the more nervous I got.

I didn't look at the swimming pool as a leisure activity anymore. I saw a giant bathtub with 78 dirty, sweaty people who had not showered for 4 days but who had lathered and sprayed 10 ounces of sun block cream, lotion and oil on their gritty bodies shedding all of the above in my former recreation haven.
Then I thought of my little Sneezy, cavorting with his pals, Oozy and Tinkler and I hopped out of that pool faster than most 57 year olds can drive a car.

When I go home, in record speed, I might add, I took a 45 minute shower and started researching the health concerns of swimming pool usage.
I guess there are a few little ailments one can acquire by enjoying swimming underwater. It's not a HUGE concern if you trust the other 150 people who are swimming with you that particular day...I'm sure everyone is healthy, with no open sores, no using the pool as a toilet and no leaking diaper-swimmies. Oh, and no post-menapausal women who when they sneeze, they cry...from various orafices.
When I was reading the medical terminology for what pools can offer, I ran across this quote:

"Other non enteric pathogens that may be found in swimmming pools and spas are legionella,pseudomonas aeruginosa, mycobacterium, staphylococcus aureus, leptospira interrogans, molluscipoxvirus, human papilloma virus, acanthamoeba,trichophyton and epidermophyton floccosum, that usually produce dermic or respiratory infections."

I knew I missed playing golf for a reason. I only had an occasional bee sting or poison ivy episode...oh, yeah, and a trip to the hospital when Dad shanked a 3 iron to my temple.

Hmmm...Maybe I'll jsut read a good book. I hope I don't get a paper cut turning the pages.

Movie Theaters Can Be Dangerous

2008-07-20T13:42:00.004-04:00

I LOVE going to the movies.
I even enjoy giving my ticket to the ticket-taker even when she can barely gesture toward my theater as she mumbles, "number 5"...
I LOVE the smell of popcorn and the previews of coming attractions.
I LOVE watching the different ways movies introduce themselves at the beginning.
I even LOVE watching the credit and seeing who the gaffer and gaffer assistant are.

Today at 10:15 a.m. I watched "MAMA MIA" starring Meryl Streep, Christina Baranski, Julie Walters, Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnin.
It was 1 hour and 43 minutes of toe tapping, face grinning and shoulder shimming fun. Maybe one has to be in the shadow of age 45 to really enjoy this but to see 59 year old Meryl Streep have as much fun as she had, all the while, dancing with unbridled enthusiasm like she was 14, was absolutely delicious!
I saw a review that panned Pierce Brosnan but I didn't care that he couldn't sing.

The only thing I DON'T LOVE about movie theaters is that they don't have a bona fide dance floor. I've managed to turn an ankle, pull a muscle and break more than a sweat as I danced in my seat to the music of ABBA. I must have thought that I could keep up with the trained dancers in the movie, all the while making a perfect fool of myself in my seat.

When I saw the show, HAIRSPRAY, my chiropractor was able to install a new swimming pool from the fees I "racked" up.

I guess this is the reason that I am such a valued subscriber to NETFLIX. My basement video screening room has a padded floor and a medicine cabinet close by.

A Picture is Worth .....

2008-07-17T07:01:00.002-04:00

When you see a picture of you in a group photo, whom do you look at first? Of course, you will gaze at your own image 50x longer than Aunt Ginny in her Dr. Scholl's. You will be critical of your crooked smile, teeth and stance. You will say, "I look fat" or "I sure had a bad hair day" and finally move on to the next picture, after quick, obligatory nice comments about the others in the photo.

When seeing pics of other people's family members, we feign interest and act like these photographic gems should be sent to some contest and you go on to guarantee them top honors, all the while yawning to yourself.

Baby pictures are THE WORST. I don't think I have EVER seen a cute baby picture taken before the age of 5 years old. Ok, I am exaggerating a bit. But seriously, (this is where I get really deep so pay attention)...other than YOUR family members, have you seen a beautiful baby photo when the kid is less than a month old? It is usually NOT smiling...has wrinkles on top of wrinkles, look terribly uncomfortable in the new baby suit it is stuffed in with the smiling teddy bear on it's chest..and has a skull cap usually to hide the forsip prong marks from the recent delivery.

Now, we have celebrities having babies by the truckload lately. And Bradgelina are selling the the pictures of their new twins for over $20 million dollars. I have one question.
WHY? Oh, in THEIR case, the proceeds will go to fund either botox injections for someone's lips or to adopting 1,568 more children from foreign lands. But for other celebrities, who cares what their kid looks like?
Would I, after seeing their mug-ette on the cover of a "reputable" tabloid, be able to recognize them if they strolled by me in the park?
Am I going to cut the photo out and frame it for my office wall?
Will I even BUY the rag that it is printed on or will I merely show it to the cashier and mumble something about the outrageous amount of money we spend on stupid stuff?

OK, I have huffed & puffed enough about this subject. You can tell that I will be boycotting the sale of such trivia.

Do NOT, however, expect me to hand over my back issues of People's Top 50 Bachelors. Now THAT is worthy of press ink.

Stuart Little Live Here

2008-07-15T17:51:00.008-04:00

Sure, some people in the entertainment industry have cartoonized mice as cute, creative and even cuddly and super-hero-ish.
Yes, I am a Disney fan and LOVE Mickey Mouse.
Of course I grew up with Mighty Mouse defending the weak and saving mankind.
Stuart Little broke my heart when he was forced to leave his adopted human family.
Tom & Jerry played so well together that they are primo examples for youngin' to model their behavior after....
And the movie, Willard....
Ah HA!, NOW we are getting somewhere! When I think of mice, I think of THAT movie, not the Magical Kingdom and "It's a Small World After-all".

We just had a “Critter-gitter” here after our outside painters found a 5” square hole in the wood siding where mice have enjoyed a red-carpet entrance to our abode.
Our local exterminating, hero, “Killer” found mouse droppings all over the attic (crawl space) and in the two basement storage rooms so these little “Mickey and Minni’s” are having a “field day” here. Killer wonders why I haven’t heard the little darlings since he figures there are a hoarde of them.

Apparently these mini-rodents have become so "at home" here that Killer ran across a miniature sign that read "There's No Place Like Home" and some tiny dandelions in a little vase. He also discovered an old fondue set that still had cheese drippings on the side. They have also commandeered a small TV set tuned to Animal Planet...
sigh.

Unfortunately, they haven't paid their share of the mortgage and cable bills so they are being evicted in the cruelest way imaginable.
33 bags of poison have been placed just about everywhere and this is high quality cuisine...$218 !! (I hope I don’t mistake my breakfast cereal for these “eternal slumber treats”)
UGH...

I may have to find other accommodations until the little fellas croak.

I subscribe to the NETFLIX service and my next movie selection just arrived. I haven't checked my list for a while so when I look inside the envelope, it's kind of like Christmas.
Not so much, today.
The movie, Ratatouille is being "returned to sender"

Here''s a Tip

2008-07-14T09:00:00.003-04:00

Tipping points:

Should tipping at restaurants be a flat 15% all the time if the server did a decent job?

Shouldn't a customer count the number of times a service person comes to the table?

Why should I pay MORE tip on a $20. item that is on ONE plate as my dining partner who ordered a $7.00 salad? The service was the same.

I recently went to a top quality dining establishment and the waiter visited us 8 times. Three of those times was to bother us...er...I mean, CHECK on us to see if "everything was all right".

Then the other day I went to a breakfast restaurant and the waitress visited our table 5 times....we spent about 15 mintues less time there but the tip was $2.00 instead of $20.

Heck, the busboy at the foo-foo place came by 3 times. Should I have tipped him?

I'm just ruminating about these things because it's Monday and I don't feel like thinking about anything deep.

Check my DEEP Wednesday post. It's bound to be thought-provoking...this one is just a meander.

Expensive Toilet Paper

2008-07-11T08:01:00.003-04:00

NEWS STORY ~
CLAYTON, Mo. — A jailer made a surprise "find" in the bathroom of the St. Louis County facility's intake center.

The correctional officer found $55,000 stuffed behind a toilet paper dispenser at the St. Louis County Justice Center in downtown Clayton last week.

Police Chief Thomas Byrne says the bundle of money was in $100 and $50 bills.

None of the inmates who were interviewed knew anything about it.

Byrne said the money has been placed in a special bank account until the rightful owner is determined.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: I suppose the officer who found the money may be able to claim it after a certain time period has expired. Can you imagine the celebration, complete with toasts and remarks that would accompany the reason for his "windfall"?

"Bottoms up"!
"Holy Crap"!
"It pays to be a "regular guy".
"Were you always good at hide and seek"?

Ok, sorry for the puns...it's Friday, gimme a break. I'm already in weekend mode.

Out-witting the Family Pooch

2008-07-09T06:08:00.002-04:00

My little sweet yorkie-poo, Bailey, has been feeling puny lately. I took him to the Veterinarian last week and he gently poked, prodded and added ordered some x-rays to the tune of $210. (I never understood why the term "to the tune of" is used when I was hearing NO MUSIC at this point in time)

With the invoice came the diagnosis. Bailey is 14 years old and is getting O L D.
I then was given back my dog, his leash and a bottle of wonder pills that promised to find the canine fountain of youth.

Have you ever tried to give a dog a pill that is big as my shoe?
Of course, over the years, Bailey has had an ailment or two and three surgeries so I've had the pleasure of administering medicine to him before. I don't mind liquid prescriptions because I can take a syringe and sneak it in the corner of his mouth. But the pills are more of a challenge.

Yes, I have tried to give him the pill with peanut butter, cheese, salami and ice cream. He manages to eat everything but the pill. One person suggested that I freeze the pill because then the pooch can't smell it as well. Since then I have read that a dog's olfactory senses are 100 times as sensitive as us humans. (I feel sorry for any dog around my Uncle Herbert after he has enjoyed his 5th chili dog)
I have used the "crush the sucker" method and hid th Rx in his favorite food. He takes one whiff and walks away with his paws folded across his chest. Sit down strike time.
Then there is the "jam it down his throat" protocol. Yeah, right. Bailey can move his head and dodge and duck better than the greatest boxer of all time. I can't land a pill any where close to the mouth, although I've had some luck sticking it in his nose.

I have even gone to great lengths to trick Bailey into believing the freshly cooked chicken wing only has ranch dressing on it...and then I make lip-smacking sounds that would make Rachel Ray seem like a quiet librarian.
It is so sad to see a grown 50-something year old woman do an imitation of a super-bowl celebration dance just because she managed to out-wit a 13 pound dog by finally getting it to swallow a grain-of-sand-size pill.

But I feel so accomplished when I finally get the job done...until I sweep the kitchen and find a little pink pill in the corner of the room...or look at Bailey's sweet face and see the intended cure-all stuck under his chin in his beard.

I think I'll stick to giving him a teaspoon of Irish whiskey on Saturday night.

Vacations NOT That Enjoyable

2008-07-06T10:44:00.004-04:00

Grandma Ellen & Griffin
______________________________________________________
I LOVE to go on vacations.
I LOVE pouring over the brochures and information about the intended target of my relaxation.
I LOVE "getting away from it all"
I LOVE sending postcards that say "Having a wonderful time, tough luck you're not here"
I LOVE planning what I'm going to do when I get there ... or
I LOVE Brian planning it for me if he goes.

I DO NOT enjoy other people going away, however. I mean, I am not jealous of their excursion ~ I am thrilled that they get to experience different stuff, yada, yada.
BUT, I don't like them being AWAY from me so that at my beck and call I can request a command appearance and oila! There they are to go to the pool with me, go try to beat me at miniature golf or ping pong...or try to convince me that I will participate in a C R A F T (which I won't but the discussion about it is fun).

Great nephew Griffin is going on a trip that sounds like way too much fun with his Grandma Ellen and his Uncle Scott.

I seriously considered booking a room at the same country Inn in Pennsylvania where they are staying but I thought it was just a bit "over the top"...besides, the costume shops are closed for the Holiday and I'm short on disguises.

They are going to go bike riding, maybe water rafting and possibly golfing (ouch! THAT one really hurt!)...not to mention experiencing gales of chuckles, grins and laughter.

So, they haven't left yet and I have printed off a dozen of my favorite photos of the little guy.
Have fun, Grif...but not TOO much, ok? And pay no attention to that pretty gray haired lady with the funnny mustache hiding behind the oak tree on #5 hole on the golf course.

4th of July Contests

2008-07-04T10:01:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th of July!
Celebrate your independance...

BUT

Why have hot dog eating contests?
Stick with the three-legged races and the race with the spoon holding an egg.

Please set these little dogs free.

Mona Lisa ~ A Happy Gal

2008-07-01T18:14:00.003-04:00

I found this interesting article and thought today should be SHARE day...and find what makes you happy!

Mona Lisa Was 83 Percent Happy
By Toby Sterling, Associated Press

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) —The mysterious half-smile that has intrigued viewers of the Mona Lisa for centuries isn't really that difficult to interpret, Dutch researchers said Thursday.

She was smiling because she was happy ~ 83 percent happy, to be exact, according to scientists from the University of Amsterdam.

In what they viewed as a fun demonstration of technology rather than a serious experiment, the researchers scanned a reproduction of Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece and subjected it to cutting-edge "emotion recognition'' software, developed in collaboration with the University of Illinois.

The result showed the painting's famous subject was 83 percent happy, 9 percent disgusted, 6 percent fearful and 2 percent angry. She was less than 1 percent neutral, and not at all surprised.

Leonardo began work on the painting in 1503, and it now hangs in the Louvre in Paris.

The work, also known as "La Gioconda" is believed to have portrayed the wife of Francesco del Giocondo. The title is a play on her husband's name, and also means "the jolly lady'' in Italian.

Harro Stokman, a professor at the University of Amsterdam involved in the experiment, said the researchers knew the results would be unscientific —the software isn't designed to register subtle emotions. So it couldn't detect the hint of sexual suggestion or disdain many have read into Mona Lisa's eyes.

In addition, the technology is designed for use with modern digital films and images, and subjects first need to be scanned in a neutral emotionless state to accurately detect their current emotion.

Lead researcher Nicu Sebe took the challenge as seriously as he could, using the faces of 10 women of Mediterranean ancestry to create a composite image of a neutral expression. He then compared that to the face in the painting, scoring it on the basis of six emotions: happiness, surprise, anger, disgust, fear and sadness.

"Basically, it's like casting a spider web over the face to break it down into tiny segments,'' Stokman said. "Then you look for minute differences in the flare of the nostril or depth of the wrinkles around the eyes.''

Stokman said with a reading of 83 percent, it's clear happiness was the woman's main emotion.

Biometrics experts not involved with the experiment said the results were interesting even if they aren't the last word on the Mona Lisa.

"Facial recognition technology is advancing rapidly, but emotional recognition is really still in its infancy,'' said Larry Hornak, director of the Center for Identification Technology Research at West Virginia University.

"It sounds like they did try to use a data set, even if it was small, and that's typical of work in an area like this that's relatively new. It's an interesting result,'' he said.

Stokman said he knew the University of Amsterdam effort won't prove or disprove controversial theories about the painting. One is that it was actually a self-portrait of Leonardo himself as a woman.

"But who knows, in 30, 40, 50 years, maybe they'll be able to tell what was on her mind,'' Stokman said.

What Color T-Shirt Did Jesus Wear?

2008-06-30T16:22:00.003-04:00

There are people who study how different colors affect us ~ Chromotherapy and Colorology are two of many resources for this subject.

A friend of mine and his wife used to always wear black clothes ~ t-shirts mostly with jeans. When I first went to their house to see their newborn, I noticed that it was a sunny day and they had the blinds drawn and it was so dark in the living room, I thought that a seance was about to begin.

Both of them were nice people but they always had a lot of "challenges" and the glass was near close to being even 1/10th full. Actually, in their case, they would complain that ALL their glasses leaked and that they tried to return the set of glasses that they got for a wedding present but the store refused.
They portrayed themselves as victims at every turn.
The wife lost her job because of outrageous circumstances.
The husband was going to school and all his classes were a "waste of time".

Now I don't know why people are attracted to wearing the colors (or lack of color) that they do, but I do know that there are certain stereotype impressions that we get at first glance at someone who walks into a room, based just on the color they wear.

If you observed a woman wearing bright "island" type colors, is there a pre-disposition to thinking that she might be an extrovert? That she might be fun and able to easily laugh at your corny jokes?

And if a woman came in dressed in all black with a tattoo on both arms, you might come on another conclusion without speaking a word to her.

On a color therapy website, the following conclusions are evident:
Mood dressers are people who are in-tune with their emotions and dress accordingly. Do you feel pink today? Or, do you feel blue?
1. Wearing Blue - Serenity and Calm

* Creating a Serene Sacred Space
* Ways to Calm an Anxious Spirit

2. Wearing Gray or Black - Invisibility and Blending In
Wearing grays and blacks can be depressive.

Let's face it, black and gray are fashion basics. We all have the basic black suit or black dress slacks that are a must wear for a number of different social settings. Wearing black will allow you to keep a low-profile in social settings if that is your intention. Don't wear black if you want to stand out amidst a crowd. Most folks don't even bother to wear black at funerals anymore, it's just too sad to wear dreary and dark colors.

3. Wearing Green - Nurturing and Earthy

Green is considered to be one of the most healing among all the colors.

Because green is the color of trees and grasses it is a wonderful color choice to wear anytime you are wanting to feel more in-tune with nature. Green represents the Spring season and new growth.

4. Wearing Orange - Energetic and Creative
Orange urges you to get out into the world and create something grand! (author's note: some orange jackets worn by a nephew of mine is certainly an exception to this rule)

Orange is a very high energy color. Its creativity juices are extremely intoxicating and sweet tasting. Wearing orange is fun and can make you feel quite playful.

5. Wearing Pink - Open Heart
Wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart.

6. Wearing Purple - Unique and Special
Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed.

7. Wearing Red - Powerful and Confident

Red can really pack a punch when needed. Ask any politician. Red is the favorite color of ties.

8. Wearing White - Fresh Outlook - New Beginnings
Wearing white will help reduce any nagging feelings of disappointment or drudge.

White represents cleansing and new beginnings.

9. Wearing Yellow - Cheerful and Happy
Yellow is the perfect color to wear whenever your spirits needs an uplift.

Yellow carries the same healing qualities associated with the sun. It offers warmth, optimism, and light. All shades of yellows and golds will cheer you up and help make you feel happier.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Now I am just a little curious as to why Jesus was usually depicted by artists as wearing white. Probably because of the climate where he was teaching, healing and changing water into wine.

But I'm thinking it might be that He read about color therapy.

Just a thought.

My Namesake

2008-06-29T11:43:00.005-04:00

My full baptized name is Margaret Mary Murphy.
I was named to honor my Dad's sister who carried the same name. Their Mother was Margaret McCabe Murphy. Dad's Grandmother was Margaret Murphy.
You get the idea.
No one was called "Maggie", "Marge", "Mags", "Egret", "Moron"....just "Margaret".

For some reason the nickname for Margaret is Peggy. Who the heck knows where THAT came from but the Irish (Gaelic) meaning is "Pearl". So why didn't they call me "Pearl"? That would be a gem of a name! (sorry, Sean, I happen to LIKE puns)

My Dad's sister Margaret Mary, named her son Edward after my Dad. She had 10 children so I think she more or less ran out of names and Ed was as good as any. But what was interesting was out of all 10 kids, all living in the state of New York, the only one who kept in touch with my Dad was his namesake.

Having said all that ~

Today I had an honor bestowed upon me that brought tears to my eyes.

3 year old great nephew Cooper has a new stuffed doggie and when asked what he named "her", he replied, "Peggy"..."now we have two!"
Maybe this honor occured because last week I bought him his first golf set and for a short time, I am high on his list. When someone gives him a discarded box to play fort in, they will be the next guest of honor.

I just hope & pray that my namesake and I will forever have a tight bond and that,
make no bones about it, I will live up to the honor.

Future Headlines

2008-06-28T09:27:00.007-04:00

I received an email from a friend with these thought-provoking predictions:

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Missing: One Small Computer Mouse

2008-06-26T10:46:00.001-04:00

Breaking Stuff Is Not hard To Do

2008-06-26T10:32:00.005-04:00

The technological troubles are continuing.
The ATOMIC clock on the porch has stopped searching for the correct time and date...after a change of batteries, it still thought it was Sunday (on a Wednesday).
Then, this morning, it is working perfectly.

Apparently the telephone is acting weird. When people call it sometimes rings busy when no one is on the phone. Then it will work fine twenty minutes later. Hmmm..

The clothes dryer repair person was a no-show so we have someone arriving in a minute with his screwdriver to see what is wrong. Just for a grin, I decided to start the dryer and after 14 times of it NOT heating up, 10 minutes ago, it is working just fine.

The computers are still acting fickle too. One hour they are working and the next time they just look at me without allowing the mouse to move. This post may or may not get published.

I don't think I have ever been so perplexed about such intermittent misfortunes but I DO know that I am grateful because they are trying my patience. And in that trial, I am attempting to have faith that all will work out...eventually.

Don't try to call me...the phone may not work.
Don't try to email me as it may be caught up in cyberspace.

Last time I was this overwhelmed with things going wrong, I went to the swimming pool to "drown my sorrows" and guess what?

It was closed for repair.

Spot Handles My Light Work

2008-06-23T18:55:00.003-04:00

I used to have a volatile temper.
G O L F, the finest sport on this earth might turn a Monastic Monk into a raving looney tune.
I really worked hard at curbing my instinct to throw a club or scream obscenities at an innocent 1" sphere that was only guilty of rolling past a 2 and 1/2" round hole in the ground.
(Besides, my Mother always told me that I should never do anything that I would not want splashed on the front page of the newspaper)

Well, I hope the local reporters don't walk into my office right now.

G O L F has NOTHING on T E C H N O L O G Y, other than it is a shorter word.

Between the clothes dryer being on the fritz and the computer connections NOT connecting for the past week, my blood started to boil like the "days of old" when my birdie turned into a bogie by missing an approach shot that landed in the seemingly benign pond surrounding the green.
I know that I am so much more mature now and decided not to let "the little things get me down"...and I counted all my blessings.

One of which is my dog, SPOT, who did what I couldn't possibly do...show the regard that I no longer have for my Toshiba...and I don't have to have my actions "splashed on the front page of the paper."

I feel "relieved" now.

I Like Your Sweater

2008-06-22T12:37:00.004-04:00

My Mom was a complimenter.
She would find SOMETHING nice to say every time I would see her, albeit somewhat of a stretch sometimes. Like one time she observed that I had worn the same yellow sweater the past 8 times that she had seen me, but "it is a nice bright color on you, even with the grape juice stains (it MIGHT have been wine?)".

Mom's Mother had taught her to be a member of the "compliment club" whereby each member would give another a "T.L." (Trade Last)..which meant that person A had heard a nice thing said about person B...and would be happy to trade that compliment last after receiving one from person B first.
Got it?
Yeah, it can get confusing.
Suffice it to say, Mom & Grandma were promoting saying nice stuff to people. They figured that many nice comments are said about people who never hear them and this way, if someone thinks they may get a pat on the back in return, they may be more inclined to spread the the good stuff.
Maybe a "T.L." is too awkward because it looks like you might be looking for a free compliment handout. That's not the point. Plus it can get REALLY embarrassing when someone has 23 nice things that they heard about YOU and you can't think of one little comment that someone else said about your compliment deliverer.

One time I was teaching an insurance class and I decided to interject a little motivational pearl and I asked each person to find something nice to say to one other person when we took our break. I told them to avoid general phrases and that the more specific the compliment, the better. If you told someone they were a nice person, you should give an example of why you are saying that.
Some fella came up to me during the highlighted compliment time and told me he like gray hair.
Thanks.

I know that we are all responsible for our own happiness and all that rot, but heck, why is it so hard to purposefully find a nice thing to say to people?
My theory (I now that you didn't ask) is that we are too wrapped up in our own ego..our own world ~ and how we look, act and appear to others.

The other night I went to a poker party and was assigned to a table where I only knew 1 of the 5 other players. During the evening I asked each one what they did for a living and how they liked their job..or where they lived, etc. By the end of the night, I knew everything about these people but not one asked me one question. However, to my surprise, they asked me to join their "group" which is supposed to be a big deal to "qualify". I guess they liked me but did they know me?
The only fact they thought they knew about me was a lie..when I finally offered up that my job was that of a "hair dresser at a funeral home"...and that proclamation was ignored as I was told that I need to put in my 25 cents to stay in the game.
Sigh...

Today to find 5 nice things to say to others on a daily basis without looking for anything in return.

Oh, by the way, YOU obviously are a very eclectic person to be taking the time to read this post.
YOU are the bomb.
YOU would get my vote in the next election (for WHAT position, I have not decided)
YOU are very patient to have even finished reading this blather.

Oh, and I like your sweater.

Happy Birthday, Mr. "Half-Way to 78" Man

2008-06-19T16:17:00.002-04:00

This is my nephew Sean Michael Murphy.
I love him like he was my nephew.
I have loved him for 39 years.
And you know what?
I LIKE him enormously.
I mean, he is the guy who I would invite to a party, even if he and I were not related.
He is a softie with his kids, a push-over for his wife, Annie-belle, a maniac at "beans" and a pretty dern good ping-ponger.

Most of all, he is a good man whom I consider a great friend who makes a difference on this earth plane.
(NOW will you let me win at Ping Pong?)
Happy Natal, Day, Sean!

Kids Say The Darndest Things

2008-06-18T13:08:00.003-04:00

My great-nephew Griffin is the most enthusiastic 7 year old on the face of the planet. He gets excited about watching paint dry.

He is taking his first official golf lessons with a "few" friends...ok, there are 120other kids in this FREE golf clinic that a local golf course is sponsering.
Yesterday I took him to the first session and before getting into the car he had to find his Nike shirt that "had that checkmark on it that all the golf pros wear".

He only owns one golf club..a putter and the clinic only provided a few clubs that were old, bent and/or the wrong size. I don't think they expected such a huge crowd of "freebie-takers".
Still, Grif had a great time and said he thinks he can beat Tiger Woods with a few more lessons. (He better hurry because I think Tiger is only going to be down a few months with this latest surgery he has to endure)

Well, with that kind of commitment to the "greatest sport on earth", I took him to the local sporting goods store and got him outfitted with a new set of junior clubs with a professional bag, complete with head covers and balls. He spent the rest of the day practicing his swing, making up a couple of courses (one inside and one outside) and convincing the next door neighbor pal that golf was more fun than running through a sprinkler, tossing a football or shooting baskets.

Today I picked him up for his second day of "stand for 10 minutes before htting 3 balls" and he lugged his bag out and asked if we could go hit balls after his lesson.
He then proceeded to name all the gifts that he had ever received in his WHOLE life and said that he would use this one the most.

I said, "What about your swim goggles?"
"Oh,yeah, I'll use those a lot too"
Then I named a few others, including the play station that he got from cousin Connor ~ and he admitted that they were all good.
When I asked him which was the very best present that he had ever received, he paused for a full 2 minutes (a lifetime of quiet if anyone knows Griffin)...
I said, "Well?"
He said, "Hang on...I'm thinking..."
Moe pausing...then,
"I don't have a car yet, do I?"

Sigh....

I sure hope he doesn't grow out of this miniature golf set in just one year...

Happy Fathers Day, Pop

2008-06-15T14:22:00.005-04:00

Here's my Pop.
I miss him every day but he left me with awesome memories.

The younger of these pictures was a night that DAD had danced with some of my golf team members from Ohio University after we had played (and LOST BIG TIME) OSU.
(yeah, even though we got throttled, Mom & Dad had a party and we still did some dancing that night)

The other picture is Dad ATTEMPTING to feed Griffin ~ it was a side-splitting hysterical moment. Annie was encouraging a "who can feed Griffin the best" contest and Dad boasted that he would take first prize.
He did. It was just in some entirely different category. His "win" was getting more food in ears and a nose than Grif's mouth.

When I close my eyes, my own "picture" of my Dad is of him smiling.
He could tell better jokes than Leno, Carson, and Letterman combined...and was more entertaining. And he loved to hear about every detail of my day, my work, my life.
He wanted to know everything about his grandsons and their kids. His biggest grins came when Brian & Sean were 5 & 6 years old and they would come and give him a hug and an "I love you" without being prodded.

I picture him laughing at the fun songs my brother sang with The Irish Brigade and the times he would kid my Mom about how she pronounced "winnebago" (she would say "warm bagels").
I still think of when Pop would break out into a warm chuckle when my pooch, Bailey would snatch a treat off his shoulder.

Some of Dad's biggest laughs came at the expense of his friends of the golf course when he would win a sucker bet on the links.

Yep, I miss you a bunch, Pop. Especially that last day when you asked me if I was happy ~ and when I said "Yes" ~
sigh...
you gave me your one last smile.

My Nephews Make Great Fathers

2008-06-15T14:17:00.006-04:00

Happy Father's Day to these guys!

Brian & Connor

And Sean wtht his boys..Cooper and Griffin (Grif does NOT hae lipstick on..he was enjoying some flavored shaved ice)

Sean Michael Murphy with his little girl, Parker

U.S. Open - Golf Trivia

2008-06-13T09:11:00.003-04:00

Golf's U.S. Open plays out this week, just in time for the customary final round on Father's Day.

How old is the tournament?
The Newport Country Club of Rhode Island hosted the first U.S. Open in 1895 with far less fanfare than the modern tournament receives.

Instead of a mad scramble to make the elite field, the competition only had 11 entrants, each of whom played a nine-hole course four times in a single day. The U.S. Open wasn't even the main draw on the course that week; spectators and golfers were much more preoccupied with the first playing of U.S. Amateur Championship at the club, which made the Open something of an afterthought.

At the end of play, Englishman Horace Rawlins claimed the title and pocketed $150 and a gold medal for his stellar performance. The Open's been played ever since with two exceptions: a two-year break for World War I and a four-year gap during World War II.

Amateurs with handicaps of 1.4 or less can play in the U.S. Open if they make it through the qualifying process, which includes a local qualifying round and a sectional qualifying round. Golfers who manage to qualify in this way had better behave themselves, though. The United States Golf Association's Web site ominously warns that golfers are "subject to rejection at any time (including during the Championship) by the USGA. The reason for rejection may include unbecoming conduct." If John Daly's been sliding by, though, it's probably tough to get the boot.

What's the roughest time anyone's had at the Open?
(When I read a CNN story about J. D. Tucker, it made me feel better about playing one time with the LPGA and posting the highest score of the field ~ 83)

But it would be hard to beat J.D. Tucker in the futility department. He took the course for the 1898 Open at the Myopia Hunt Club in S. Hamilton, Massachusetts, and proceeded to shoot a 157 in his opening round. During his second round the same day, he carved 57 strokes off of his score, but that only got him to a not-so-competitive 100.

For a single hole, though, Ray Ainsley gave Tucker a run for his money. At the 1938 Open at Cherry Hills in Englewood, Colorado, Ainsley hit into a creek on the 16th hole of his second round. Rather than take a penalty, Ainsley thought he'd try to hit the ball out of the water. When his first attempt was unsuccessful, he tried again. And again. And again.

When the ball finally found its way onto dry land and into the cup, Ainsley had racked up a 19-stroke hole, a record that still stands.

That should make you feel better the next time you have to suck it up, take the penalty and take a drop.

I guess that's a lesson that doesn't apply just to golf?

Have a great weekend.

I like to Dance, I like to Boogie

2008-06-12T18:03:00.001-04:00

I'm a HUGE American Idol fan;
I'm a PASSIONATE Dancing With The Stars fan;

I'm NOT such a cat fan...except this dancing and singing one.

Signs

2008-06-11T08:25:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I walked into a store that had a sign on it's entrance that read "WE PROSECUTE SHOPLIFTERS".
I wondered if there were stores that DIDN'T prosecute shoplifters and if THEY had signs reflecting their generous nature.

The next store I entered had a sign that stated "NO HANDGUNS ALLOWED".
I wish I could see the surveillance camera taping the 125 people who read
the sign and went back to their truck to deposit their weapon before
returning.

Others senseless signs to me are:
a restaurant that advertises "GOOD FOOD"...I've never seen one that said "MEDIOCRE CUISINE"..
or
"HOT SOUP" instead of "TEPID SOUP"?

Furniture stores - "SUPERB QUALITY" Really? You mean your mattresses aren't "LOW QUALITY"??

"COLD BEER"...oh, nuts...my mouth was watering for a "LUKEWARM BREW"...if they had only advertised THAT!

When I see a street sign warning me, WRONG WAY, I wonder if every other street should instill confidence in the driver by stating they are going the "RIGHT WAY".

Oh, well, maybe I should have named this blog post, "HYSTERICAL OBSERVATIONS" when in fact, it's just my own musings....

I Was Never Good At Math Tests

2008-06-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

The $21,000 Leak

2008-06-08T11:01:00.003-04:00

So, about 14 months ago I got tired of looking at the bathroom walls being eroded by leaks next to the shower and also having replacing basement suspended ceiling tile due to errant water dripping down from the bathrooms.

I called 4 contractors to give me a "competitive, pencil-sharpening quote". Apparently they don't do either competitive or pencil sharpening.

There was Harold, who made the typical stereo-type plumber look like a G-Q magazine ad, who kept commenting on how he "hoped to get this job so he could put new tires on his truck."
So I decided on the contractor who actually showed up on time and gave me a written estimate who wasn't the cheapest but wasn't the most expensive. He convinced me to get some other "necessary work to complete now so it didn't cost more in the future".
Instead of just patching the 4" area of drywall by the shower, I was now getting two brand new showers...and as long as I was making the investment, I might as well get the best showers on the market...for "the sake of reselling your home".
He explained that the original showers were of "cheap builder construction grade" and that they hadn't been "plumbed" correctly when they were installed.
Oh, and since they would have to rip out some of the floor to install the new (state of the art) shower stalls, "you should update this cheap flooring and install nice tile for the sake of re-selling your house."

Then I looked at the front foyer and have always wanted that updated...well, at least after "The Hammer" explained that "first impressions are essential when re-selling your house". Then as he helped himself to a glass of water in the kitchen, I could see his eyebrows furrow with disdain as he surveyed the kitchen flooring.
"For just a few extra dollars......"
Perfect logic so naturally, being the logical person that I purport to be, I agreed.

Since he and his team of bandits were going to do new flooring for the two master bedroom bathrooms, the foyer, the kitchen, the only mis-matched room would be the third guest hallway bathroom so how could I say "no"?

So, after three weeks of living with dust and draining my bank account by over $21,000, I was happy...or was I?
(I did observe that their dress code should have included masks and the bill should have had a ransom note attached)

Well, it's been just over a year and I don't pay any attention to the flooring anymore.
The shower doors seem kinda heavy.
And if I spill anything over 4 ounces on the expensive Italian kitchen tile, it shows a dent.

Oh, and one more thing ~

The basement ceiling tiles have water stains re-appearing and their is a nice 3" water erosion mark in both bathrooms again...next to the expensive shower stalls that were supposedly installed correctly.
I guess I need to fix these things for "the sake of re-selling my house."

I just can't remember where I put Harold's phone number.

Judge Cannot Control Laughter

2008-06-05T21:55:00.001-04:00

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in
March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer
didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's
jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,
who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket
and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to
compose himself.

Stupid Flies

2008-06-04T10:22:00.003-04:00

The summer has arrived full force here in southeastern Ohio.
The thunderstorms and 90 degree temperatures have announced their arrival this week. Other un-welcomed guests have appeared as well.
The HOUSE-FLY.
These pesky pests have apparently been trained at some Olympic Fly-camp. They are quick, sneaky and quiet. They are un-related to the sluggish Texas bar fly that you can catch in one hand while drinking a cold one with the other. (not that I, personally, have ever done that. I've just heard stories from my Granddaddy)

I read today that a Swiss University near Geneva has studied the intelligence of flies. The results of this research show that stupid flies live 80-85 days vs. the intelligent fly's mere 50-60 days buzzing around. The "underdeveloped neural activity" is a plus for these tiny enemies.

I just don't get this research ~ on so many levels.
1) Who would take a job investigating these fly-by-nights, anyway? Can you see the business card of such an individual? Tony Jenkins, Fly IQ investigator. That poor guy could never be successful picking up a girl at a bar with those credentials.
2) Isn't it the clever flies that out-wits, out-lasts and out-plays the fly swatter who is the last SURVIVOR?
3) Wouldn't the more intelligent fly give lessons to it's baby flies on how to avoid the hazards of getting trapped between a window and it's screen, never to draw fly breath again?

I'm thinking that maybe I should go into my own rigorous training for the summer fly-swatting contests. That's it...today I get a new fly swatter and cut down on carbs and run the stairs and do "swats" three times a day.
I'll show those flies who's got the better I.Q.

What does "I.Q." stand for anyway? (maybe "I quit"?)

Double Happy Birthdays!!

2008-06-02T08:41:00.006-04:00

Anniebelle Murphy & Parker-belle Murphy

Annie turned "thirty-something" yesterday (ok, 35, aka "half-way to 70! ~ if you MUST know!) and tomorrow, Parker becomes a terrific two (she is by-passing the "terrible-two's" deal).
We are all blessed that these two souls have graced our world.

I love Annie like a sister, niece, best friend and confidant. We laugh together until my sides hurt...we speed dial each other when we discover the silliest of details (like which lifeguard is on duty today) and we are partners in a business (that is not quite ready for prime time players) that helps others proceed with life in a perfect way ~ like we do.

I love Parker like she is the prettiest, funniest, most creative, most talented, FEMALE Murphy under 35 years old.
These two are the best!

~ oh, and can you tell that I love them?

Friday Thoughts ~

2008-05-30T12:39:00.003-04:00

To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs, it will let you go instantly. (I do not know if this applies to an alligator so you'd better ask that alligator who has you init's grip)

It is impossible for a solar eclipse to last for more than 7 minutes 58 seconds. (fascinating, don't you think? And here I thought it could last at LEAST 8 minutes!)

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. (go ahead, visit a pig farm and get back to me)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. (Who has the job of counting taste buds...can someone obtain a degree in this specialty?)

Just Peg's Pearls of Wisdom ~ you're welcome.
Have a great weekend!

This Story is Marble-ous ~ Scatter Daily

2008-05-28T09:31:00.005-04:00

I found this forwarded message in my email today.
I normally just delete this kind of stuff but today is a day that I guess I just needed a good story of inspiration.
Thanks to Jan Crossen for sending it to me!

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.

I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily perusing a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas.

I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry , how are you today?'

' H'lo , Mr. Miller . Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry . How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like take some home?' asked Mr. Miller .

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller .

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble', Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller .'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.

A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one.

Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men.

One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket.

Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller . I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles.

With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them.

Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho '.

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work.

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing-along song on the radio.

Your keys found right where you left them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget.

I just Did...

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!

Wanted: GOOD Newspaper Headline Writers

2008-05-27T07:10:00.001-04:00

“War Dims Hope For Peace”

“Miners Refuse To Work After Death”

“Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges”

“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says”

“Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half”

“Hospitals Are Sued By Seven Foot Doctors”

“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead"

"Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing"

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

"House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate"

"Stiff Opposition Expected to Casket-less Funeral Plan"

"Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung"

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water"

"Farmer Bill Dies in House"

Cupid's New Equipment

2008-05-22T11:17:00.002-04:00

So, Cupid has a replacement for his arrow.

I know advertising is everywhere. Lately I think the ads for viagra are "on the rise".

Today my email spam folder found something new ~ Ready for this?

"Professional Viagra" and it's offered in SOFT capsules which I would think is poor marketing....

I have so many things going through my mind right now to say about this particular product offering but I thought I would leave it to each of the reader's imaginations to elaborate...or not.

Have a memorable Memorial Day Weekend. I hope it is out-standing!

Life's a Gas!

2008-05-22T10:57:00.003-04:00

Interesting May gasoline prices - Who's winning what war where?

Country/Territory US$/gal

United States $3.99

Saudi Arabia (Riyadh) $0.45

United Kingdom $8.18

Sierra Leone $18.42

Australia (Melbourne) $5.18

Belgium (Brussels) $8.44

Canada $4.88

China $2.44

Egypt (Cairo) $1.23

Germany $8.63

Hong Kong $7.56

Iran $0.41

Israel $7.20

Kuwait (Kuwait City) $0.78

Mexico (Mexico City) $2.36

Norway (Oslo) $9.71

Turkey $10.13

Turkmenistan $0.29

Venezuela (Caracas) $0.17

Pocket Change

2008-05-21T16:06:00.004-04:00

Pockets are an interesting invention.
I see some that are decorative only and are sewn into the clothing while others are bigger than a Mother's diaper bag.
Recently, on beautiful sunny, 70 degree day, I observed four men walking to their cars after having lunch at a local restaurant ~ and each one of them were walking with both of their hands stuffed in their (own) pockets.
I thought that maybe they belonged to some club.

I always thought that pockets were for tissues, keys and money. Maybe throw in a grocery list and paper clip here and there.

So, why do people walk with their mitts jammed down their pockets?
Are their hands really heavy and they're tired of carrying them around?
Are we that lazy that we need to rest our hands after a hard afternoon spooning soup in our mouths?

It just seemed odd to me.

But odder yet is the picture of a couple walking not arm-in-arm, but with a hand in each other's hip pocket. Is this a ritual to find out if where they carry their extra cash? Perhaps they are proceeding with a shake-down frisk to check for drugs.
It just doesn't seem very intimate to me. What happened to good old hand holding? Are we all germ-a-phobes?

These and other questions are written down on sticky notes that I guess I will carry in my pockets to ponder at a later date.
Aw, crud. I have the slacks on where the pockets that are sewn together. I'll have to make a note not to buy those anymore...

but where shall I put it?

Finally - My Ship Has Come IN!!

2008-05-20T10:56:00.003-04:00

Now THIS can make me millions!
Who wants to partner up with me to find the worms?

Connie

2008-05-19T12:11:00.003-04:00

This is my favorite sister-in-law, Connie.
She is multi-talented, funny, caring, politically fervent, semi-professional director and movie critic, reality TV addict and a good friend.

She has two of the most greatest sons who will ever walk this earth so she must have done something right in the Motherhood department too.

I was just thinking that I don't tell people enough good stuff.
So, Connie, I love you and am glad you came into my brother's life.
(And I hope you had a grand time in Hilton Head, you lucky dog!)

Happiness Is.....

2008-05-16T10:20:00.002-04:00

Nice ad ~ from the 1950's maybe?

Since my formative years were about that era, maybe that accounts for my waves of euphoria...or could it be remnants from my college days, "As The Bong Turns".

yad drawkcab = "backward day"

2008-05-15T09:15:00.004-04:00

Some days I don't know if I am coming or going.

On occasion I will accidentally have my turn signal indicating right instead of left.
I have even put the salad fork in the wrong position at the dining room table.
Rarely I will step on the gas pedal and I had the gear in reverse rather than forward.
Grant it, I know there are some things that are supposed to be appropriate when done in a backward way but I wasn't in a rowing competition, impersonating a 15 year old skateboarder and the high jump was never my sport.

Yesterday I dressed early for an extremely busy day. I had a couple of insurance appointments that I had scheduled and had a stack of proposals to finish prior to meeting with my prospects. Being the efficient, professional person I see myself as, I felt both appointments went rather well.

And then I met a friend for lunch at a nice, upscale restaurant. She was already seated when I arrived. I greeted her and took off my coat and was glancing at the menu when I caught my dining companion looking at me with a questioning look.
"Peg, I think your sweater is on backwards."

"Uh, sure I knew that...don't you know it's 'spirit day'?"?
Then I asked her what SHE was wearing backwards...

I would have been embarrassed at my fashion blunder ~ until the waiter mentioned that I had the menu upside down.
I told him it was "upside down" day.

I love it when life throws me curves and I can still bunt the ball.
(Ok, I still didn't make it to first base but don't count me out!)

What to Pray For Today

2008-05-13T10:35:00.004-04:00

What's the latest subject of your prayers?
Mine have included,:
*Lord, please don't let a train interrupt my travel on this road
*Oh, God...please let THIS be the lottery ticket that pays big
*Father, if you would only arrange for a quick grocery line today because I have a lot of things to do..
*Can you let me draw the card for my inside straight just ONCE?
*I am begging you to let this hot fudge sundae NOT go directly to my already flabby _____________ fill in many blanks...
*While I am baby-sitting, please, Lord...let the little one be poopy-diaper free.

And then in today's headlines I see:
* "18,000+ buried in China's earthquake"
* "Drought continues in Barcelona..water being shipped in"
* "Myanmar disaster victims awaiting aid"
* "Casualties continue in Iraq"

And then another headline which is the one MORE important to US since we are not directly affected by the other headlines...
"I-Phone sold out online"
I imagine some people prayed that they could be one of the "lucky" I-Phone owners.

Maybe I should re-think my own prayer requests.

Looking into the Future

2008-05-12T10:35:00.002-04:00

Cooper (3) and his Mom getting ready for his first appearance in a tux...and in a wedding.

Gulp.

Could this be any sweeter?

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T10:36:00.008-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to everyone.

Today I went to Frisches Big Boy for an early breakfast with a friend of mine. When we were seated, the server gave us each a lovely Mothers Day card with a poem about how Mothers should be appreciated and included was a coupon for a free dinner. What a wonderful gesture. I didn't notice if this card was given to all patrons or just the women over 16. I DID hear the waitress mumble that it's too bad they don't acknowledge Father's Day with as much as a free beverage...and asked us "Is that fair?"
Well, gosh..I hadn't thought about it before because I didn't know Frisches ignored Fatherhood.

But back to Mom's 24 hour celebration. I must have heard the wish, "Happy Mother's Day" seven times in 42 minutes. Even people who brushed by us coming in and out of the restaurant were bubbling Matronly greetings in our direction.

I was watching a news program earlier and George Stephanapolis was being interviewed by a young newscaster and he wished her a Happy Mother's Day, only to have her to mention later to a colleague that she wasn't married and had no children.
Now I'm not saying that it is a stab to my heart that I was never blessed with cute little Peggy-ettes...and I sure don't want strangers asking me if I am a Mom before wishing me well...kinda like during the Christmas Holidays, some non-Christians get upset if greeted with "Merry Christmas". Do THEY want to be queried about their religious affiliation every minute of the day?

Ok, I think I am just babbling a bit today.
Don't you think that it's nice that perfect strangers (well, I don't know if they are PERFECT, but let's give me a little slack today) say ANYTHING nice to ANYONE?

I am blessed with knowing a few Moms who are dern near perfect. And there are a few out there who are lacking basic child-rearing skills but still love their kids. Whichever it is, I think Parenthood in general is a full time job with benefits...lots and lots of benefits albeit sometimes hidden amongst tantrums, frustrations, messy rooms, spilled milk (the no-tear kind), soiled diapers, sleepless nights and of course, tough love. Then comes the good stuff...the hugs, the pulled flower from your freshly planted garden and the smiles that could be blamed for Global Warming.

I, personally, miss having my Mom call me to talk about absolutely nothing of any significance.
I miss her telling me I put too much garlic in the meatloaf and too little onion in the wilted lettuce salad.
I miss us going to the zoo to watch the gorillas and having lunch by the river and having seed-spitting contests with Brian & Sean.

I miss her calling me up during a commercial of The Murder She Wrote show to tell me who she thinks murdered the rich guy's wife. (and to tell me she loves Angela Lansbury's pink blazer and maybe we could find one like it at Kohls Department store)
I miss her sense of humor where we bend over in giggle fits in the middle of a store just trying of clothes ~ she had Carol Burnett comedic timing.
I miss her playing along with me on elevators when I would start to make up a story about being robbed at gun point and she would act like she was interviewing me, asking me what happened next. On one accasion a woman followed us off the elevator when it wasn't her destination floor just to hear the end of our fabricated story.
I miss her giving me the peace sign when I drove out of her driveway.
I miss her treasured advice to "get showered and dressed even if you don't feel good..you'll feel better if you look better"....and I always did.
I miss her laugh that was infectious (even if the joke was on her).
I miss her getting out a row of aspirin bottles and heartburn medication when she would see either Grandson, Brian or Sean, drive up to the house. It was for THEM, not her as she adored the visits, announced or otherwise.

Sorry, gang...I HAD the best Mom. Yours might come in second.

Can you guess? I just plain miss her.

I am Feeling Good ~ until.....

2008-05-09T12:46:00.003-04:00

Have you ever had a day where you felt on top of the world? You think that this is the rare day when your hair looks good, your clothes don't need ironing and the color selection of attire is perfect for the complexion....

This is MY day TODAY...
I'm thinking maybe people are probably going to mistake me for some celebrity that they can't quite identify. Strangers will smile at me and while looking me over like I am SOME-THING. Uh, huh.
Yep. Today I got it going on....

I have now arrived at my favorite breakfast diner to pick up my Carry-Out order that I had called in. I've paid my bill and am sitting with my celebrity sunglasses on, reading the paper while I am waiting for my order. Just then I overheard a fella at the counter say in a stage whisper, "Whoa! She is hot! She can come in for carry-out ANY time!" A couple of others chimed in their agreement and I sat there, smiling to myself, trying to ignore the compliment.
See? I knew I still had it at the age of 57!

I then glanced up from my shades just in time to see a 23 year old Heather Locklear look-a-like with a carry-out bag, completing her task of bending over to retrieve her dropped car keys.

Gulp. Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing gray instead of yellow. My 57 year old face must have looked like I was the older sister of Robert Redford.
My glorious self-esteem waivered more than a little as they called out, "Peg, your waffle is ready..."

I'm sure Heather's order was probably a double yogurt without the fruit with a side order of dry toast.

I'm going home to change my clothes, (probably a black t-shirt), maybe paint my fingernails a deep purple ~ and perhaps I'll give my ego a boost by watching The Jerry Springer Show.

Maybe tomorrow will be my day.

Great Police Work

2008-05-08T12:23:00.003-04:00

There was a BAN on purchasing a couple of common products in Virginia recently.
No kids are allowed to buy ketchup in squirt bottles nor eggs. Maybe the local high school's Home Ec educator(some referred to our teacher as Home "ICK" "back in the day"...) was giving homework assignments that included experimentation of strange tasting omelets? OR...some kids decided the weather is getting nice out so why not adorn local vehicles with a little colorful decorations.

Well, the local authorities thought that rather than go to the trouble of catching the kids and punishing them, it was much easier to put a ban on selling the kids the weapons...er..food products.

Wow...we have guns on every corner but one can't buy breakfast food and America's favorite hamburger sauce.

I hope the Presidential candidates are learning from these superior and creative governing techniques from the fine folks in Norfolk, Va.

Church Bulletin Bloopers

2008-05-03T17:07:00.004-04:00

~ The Outreach Committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

~ The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

~ The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

~ The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

~ Ushers will eat latecomers.

Be My Guest?

2008-05-01T11:49:00.003-04:00

I've never understood the word "guest", I guess.
I always thought that if I were a guest in a person's home, if my "hosts" treated me to a beverage and perhaps a food product, at the end of the evening, a bill for the refreshments would not be delivered. I have been to many functions where I have been a guest and have never been asked to pay for anything.

I have even golfed as a guest of another person and - no check for the green fees. I have in turn, asked individuals to play in our "guest day" at the golf club where I used to enjoy a membership and I was happy to treat my golfing partner to a day of fun (especially if they played well and we were "in the money").

Last night I went out to dinner and there was a hostess who seated us a our table. When I commented to her that I liked the seating arrangement where I could enjoy the window view, she replied "we like to keep our guests happy."
So, I'm a GUEST, am I?
Yippee!!
I must admit that I was surprised when the menu came and there were prices to the side of each item. After all, when I have guests into my home, I certainly don't show anyone my grocery store receipt.

When the waiter mentioned that there were fresh scallops and even fresher Australian crab on the menu, I couldn't remember seeing any fishermen catching any of those around this part of the country and Australia is a loooooong way away to have something like a crab to arrive still kicking.
I also wondered exactly where the "fresh sun-dried" tomatoes were being dried. It had rained the past 4 days...hmmmm...

So, after a wonderful meal, complete with lovely background music that would make a Punk Rock enthusiast happy, we started to leave but were barred from exiting the restaurant. Apparently, I took the term "guest" a little too liberally.

Next time I have people over for dinner, I am seeing how slipping a small invoice for the meal will go over.

Maybe I should sign up for a Mastercard Merchant account?

Future Star..of ANYTHING

2008-04-28T09:32:00.002-04:00

Parker Belle Murphy - Age - 1 year and 11 months.
Future - She Can Do it ALL.

What Makes Me See "Red"

2008-04-23T07:59:00.003-04:00

I feel like an animal in a bull fighting ring ~ incensed at seeing the red cape.
Only MY red cape comes from having a medical condition called "Pink Eye" or "conjunctivitis" (men like the latter name and women the former).
It's not that I'm grossly unhappy that I have a condition that most children acquire and easily pass on to other playmates but at the same time, they don't give it a second thought. The eyes may water, itch and sometimes hurt but it's more of an inconvenience than a bed-ridden malady. (well, that and the pride hurdle of not being able to wear eye make-up)

Why I am seeing more than "pink" is that:
1) I'm not allowed to be around my great nephews and niece because of "it" being so contagious
2) It cost me $100.00 to see the eye Doctor (hey! I have a high deductible for health insurance)
3) It cost me $108.00 for the two tiny eye drop vials that contain an anti-biotic and an anti-inflammatory

I have read a lot about pharmaceutical drugs and the actual cost vs. what we in the U.S. pay. We are talking about anywhere from 10x to 100x the cost of manufacturing the product. We are the ONLY industrialized country who has no cost containment caps on what the Drug Industry can charge. In fact, the pharmaceutical companies charge less for most drugs in marketing them in other countries.

Oh, I've heard the tired argument that SOMEONE has to pay for R&D (research & development) when in strict fact, the majority of "R&D" is done by universities, not pharmaceutical companies.

Maybe I'm seeing red because my pocketbook is bleeding over health care in general here in the U.S.

Or maybe it's because I spent $108 for less than a 1/4 ounce of stuff that doesn't even give me the slightest buzz?

Automatically Lucky?

2008-04-21T09:43:00.006-04:00

I am soooooo lucky.
Notice that I didn't say whether my luck was good or bad ~
Yesterday I opened a bill from a credit card company and out tumbled 23 advertisements for things that I don't need or want but somehow the "deals" they offer look soooo good! I have always wanted to see the "almost" all-leather wallet that has 19 compartments...and I have been somewhat intrigued by the travel clock that has an alarm that will awaken you with the time being sung in 17 different languages.
But yesterday I hit the mother-load! (what IS a "mother load", anyway?)
A scratch off lottery-like ticket was inviting me to win $10.00.
Let me re-phrase that ~ the wording on the ticket said, "Automatic ten dollar credit".
Wow! An AUTOMATIC lottery ticket with three gold bars to scratch off to "win" my AUTOMATIC ten dollar credit.
Interesting, eh?

As I attempted to read the fine print, I realized that I needed to enlist the aid of a high power magnifying glass that I bought at an ex-CIA secret agent's garage sale. Then and only then, could I read the hitch - if I accepted the ten dollar credit on my credit card account, I would be AUTOMATICALLY enrolled in a $119. membership to Great Fun. What IS Great Fun you might ask? I guess it is winning the ten dollar credit because I couldn't find any evidence of an explanation of Great Fun.

The credit card company was so nice to send this to me, don't you think?
In fact, they are so benevolent, they will gladly charge my credit card NEXT year AUTOMATICALLY $129.00 for the renewal to this most mysterious Great Fun club.

I think I will AUTOMATICALLY discard any advertisement enclosed in my bills from now on. Do they really think that I could be hood-winked into believing that I could get something for nothing? I wasn't dropped off the back of a turnip truck..I know there is no free lunch...or $10.00 Mastercard credit.
That stuff only happens on Deal or No Deal.

But there IS an Easter Bunny?
And buying time share property in Cleveland, Ohio IS a good investment, right?

What's next?

2008-04-15T22:04:00.005-04:00

My faith has been shaken (not stirred)
My hopes have been dashed.

Why, you may ask?

The blame falls on a seemingly innocent salt shaker.
I have know salt as a food preservative since Washington crossed some river...since before Mighty Mouse was here to save the day. Obviously if salt is a spice that is used in every canned food item in order for said food to be kept edible for decades to come, wouldn't salt preserve itself for at least centuries?

I recently was in a high class restaurant that had a salt shaker in it's original packaging and my friend noticed that it had an expiration date! "Expires 1/2010"
WHAT?!!?
An expiration date? For salt?
That's like giving a Tiger Woods a birthday present...of golf lessons.

Shocking news is everywhere.

Next pizza will be a non-deliverable food item.

Shaving For a Sunny Day

2008-04-08T08:58:00.011-04:00

The sun came out for an all-day appearance yesterday. That big yellow sphere has been MIA lately. So, what would any normal sun-worshipping individual do?
I shaved my legs.
Then I went outside to soak up Mr. Sun's rays for 44 minutes.
This was quite a project (the shaving, I mean, not the sun-soaking).

During the winter I think to myself (because whom else would I think to?), "Self,you have had a tough winter with snow, sleet and freezing rain so you need warmth ~ so keep the home hairs a-growin'."
OK, I didn't think that at all. I was just trying to save time and by-pass the unnecessary grooming so I could spend 3 more minutes watching one of the three daily reality TV shows that I TIVO.
So with a few weeks on slacking off handling the ole Bic razor, I had to first prime the site with a hair removal cream that is used for preparing men related to King Kong for surgery. Then I used a gardening instrument before I finally could see my way to using the shaver.
I know men who want to be well groomed have to shave their cute little mugs daily with some having to manicure around their David Niven mustaches. (actually, I haven't seen that kind of a hair lip since I saw a very bad English play in 1976)
I take pity on them.

What I really don't understand ~ are those guys who don't shave their beard but they shave their odd-shaped dome head.

Ah, well. Another life mystery to be pondered.

No time for that now..the sun is out and we all know what THAT means!

Let Them Entertain You

2008-04-07T10:03:00.007-04:00

Entertainment can come in all forms ~
My favorites (in no particular order):
Seeing if I can file three fingernails before the light turns green and the honking horn behind me brings me back from my alpha state; seeing how fast my ceiling fan can keep a sock on it before it wings it into another room; counting how many bushes, trees and mailbox posts Bailey can mark in a 15 minute walk and hoping he breaks the record of 39; or betting on how many friends 7 yr. old Griffin can make at the playground in 30 minutes.
T.V. seems to be the #1 answer for most when posing the question of "What do you do for entertainment?"
But Saturday night I was privileged to enjoy a performance by a Columbus Womens Band with the Irish moniker of "The Ladies of Longford"
The leader of the band, Hilda Doyle, is the Mother of the two vocalists (and Grandmother of a soon-to-be-added member). She can play a guitar and sing like the pros wish they could. Stephanie Doyle and her older sister, Heather Doyle-Frazer are 30-something and have been at their Mom's side singing their special hearts out since they were knee high to a toy guitar. They both have supreme musical ability with various instruments. Both of these phenomenal individuals have voices better than any of the American so-called-Idols...too bad they are just over the age 29 silly cut-off age.
Rounding out the group are Liz Blickenstaff, a brilliant fiddler, and Molly Pauken, who is an extraordinary bass and percussion musician who graces 4 various bands with her talents and has an awesome website (Sirensmusic.com) where you can order some her CD's and check out her schedule.

The excitement about this group is multi-dimensional. Not only can they play seventeen types of genres, but their energy, professional sound and their pure joy in entertaining is absolutely infectious. The crowd was mesmerized by the ballads and enervated by their Irish reels and upbeat instrumentals.

If you ever get a chance to see these ultra-talented ladies, it will be worth your while. Catch 'em before some talent agent books them into $195/seat venues!
www.HildaDoyle.com - Click on Ladies of Longford.
They have released some awesome CDs so check them out too!

They are SAWEET!

My Addiction to Paper Products

2008-04-03T14:36:00.004-04:00

I LOVE paper towels. I use them EVERYDAY for at least 23 different chores.
I LOVE toilet paper. I don't need to elaborate on this one.
I LOVE paper napkins...various sizes and colors and themes.
I LOVE sneeze paper...(akA "kleenex" or "tissues"..BUT PLEASE, NO LOTION ON IT)
I LOVE note pads ~ the LITTLE ones THAT my friend, Suzer "borrows" from the Marriott pay phone areas as well as the ones people send me that have a nun drinking wine on it that says, "Sister Margaret Merlot"...
I LOVE sticky notes...great invention and I wish I had thought of it.
I LOVE copy paper, all colors.
I ADORE glossy photo paper so I can make my silly picture collages that most people toss in the junk closet...
I LOVE the newspaper ~ especially the want ads.
I LOVE the smell of paper in some of the new books that I read at the bookstore without purchasing.

But I don't particularly like the paper that reads, IRS TAX FORM...and I am STILL procrastinating!

Ode To a Three Year Old

2008-04-01T10:20:00.016-04:00

Birthday # 1 and 2

And a much older fella now....

Happy Birthday, Cooper! You have brought LOTS of light into many lives.

Only Time Will Tell ~

2008-03-28T11:30:00.003-04:00

A Powerful Parable

If you're bank credited your account each morning with $86,400 and after 24 hours canceled whatever amount was still unspent... what would you do? Wouldn't you try to draw out every last cent you could... every single day? Of course, you would!!!

Well, we all have such a bank... it's called "LIFE" and it makes a "TIME DEPOSIT" into your account every morning. It credits your "account" with 86,400 seconds and every day it burns the records and cancels out, as lost, whatever amount you failed to put to a good purpose. Use it or lose it... no balance carried forward.

Thanks to Mark Goldstein who recently shared this with me.

March 27, 1998 The Wedding of the Century

2008-03-26T22:21:00.004-04:00

This is Sean, my nephew and his wife, Annie-belle.
I am blessed to have both of them in my life. They have added joy, love, warmth, humor (LOTS of THAT!!) and friendship. They are quite a package. I love them a ton and am glad they are staying in Ohio ~ for a while, at least.
Happy Anniversary to this wonderful couple!
May you have another 10 years x 7 in good health and love!

These Shoes Were Made for Walking - to The Cone!

2008-03-25T15:04:00.007-04:00

The REAL Opening DAY is here! Yippee!! So I will slip on my new waffle shoes and run, not walk to the nearest CONE!

WHO doesn't like ice cream?

It's been kinda depressing over the winter...no ice cream.

But NOW I'm happy again!

Easter Egg Hunters

2008-03-24T10:41:00.002-04:00

Remember when Easter baskets were BASKETS?
Now they come in the form of baseballs, footballs and furry creatures that are unrecognizable to me.
But the kids enjoyed "scrambling" around for their hidden eggs..and big brothers even helped their little sis find the prettiest ones!

Life is good.

I Never Cook Alone

2008-03-22T10:54:00.003-04:00

As I was preparing some deviled eggs (aka "stuffed eggs" for those opposed to adding an evil over-tone to their dining experience), I realized how many people help me cook. I may be standing by myself in the kitchen but I am by no means, alone.
As I was peeling the hard-boiled eggs, I remembered that Mom taught me that the eggs will peel better if you let them soak in very cold water for 15 minutes. My friend, Suzer, has counseled me that peeling eggs under a light stream of cool water helps unravel the shell without making pock-marks on the egg's skins. Then as I discarded the shells in the waste basket, I heard the voice of nephew Sean caution me against putting shells down the disposal.

Now it was time to mash the eggs yolks before adding the good goop for the stuffing. I used my Dad's Marine Corps fork because he was the one who always performed this function with that same utensil....for over 50 years. I used to watch him intently as he explained to me (with much pride) that the trick for smooth and tasty eggs was to continuously turn the bowl as you mash.

As I retrieved Mom's deviled eggs plate (another antique), I remember how she told me that 90% of cooking was how you presented the meal. So, I got out the paprika and carefully tapped it's contents over the eggs with just the slightest hint of a sprinkle. Then I put the mandatory toothpicks in each egg to help create a protective tent when I covered the dish with saran wrap.

When I serve these eggs later today, I will think of the past ~ when brother Dave, nephew Brian and sister-in-law Connie would fight over the last survivor.

I may have seemed alone in that kitchen today ~ but I sure wasn't lonely.
It was "eggs"actly how I wanted it to be.

GOD Friday

2008-03-21T10:52:00.004-04:00

There is some New Age thinking that purports that "there are no accidents".
Maybe that's true.
I tried three times to type the title of this post as "GOOD Friday" and it kept typing "GOD" Friday.
Growing up as a Catholic, we spent three hours in Church on Good Friday...from 12 noon to 3 p.m. to reflect on what Jesus suffered for us.
Three hours.
Now I wonder who spends 5 minutes.
I hear everyone saying automatically, "Happy Easter" but I don't hear anyone even whisper, "Pensive Good Friday"...
So...
I am taking the "E" challenge...
"Pensive Good Friday to you all.."

First Day of Spring

2008-03-20T09:01:00.003-04:00

Happy First Day of Spring!
The times ~ they are a-changin'!
Maybe the flooding will subside..or the sleet and freezing rain will cease ~ or maybe the snow will stop flurry-ing...so the rabbits can come for Easter and the birds can greet the flowers.
Or maybe we will have to TRY to fire up the snow blowers again....

The Day After St. Paddy's Day

2008-03-18T19:24:00.003-04:00

Ah, tis sad that some leprechauns never learn their lesson....Brian!

A Wee Bit 'O The Blarney

2008-03-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

How Much Do You Know About Ireland?
St. Patrick’s name was really Maewyn Succat and was NOT Irish but Scottish with an Italian Father.

A Leprechaun’s profession is.....a shoemaker

The ratio of Irish pubs to people = 1/350

Divorce in Ireland did not become legal until 1997

Irish coffee was NOT invented in Ireland...but San Francisco

What % of U.S. President’s claim Irish heritage?
40%

When an Irish name starts with “Mac-”, it means “son of” ~ but when an Irish name begins with “O”, it means “grandson of”.

Slainte! (meaning “Cheers” or “a “toast to your health”)

Computers, Kids and Embarrassment

2008-03-16T11:26:00.003-04:00

I received an email from Shirley, a close friend in her 70's, who sent me this email.
Can anyone else relate other than ME?

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
"An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Eric grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it
out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Eric...

Thanks to Shirley I feel just a wee bit better today.

Money Woes?

2008-03-14T11:07:00.005-04:00

There seems to be a preponderance of evidence accumulating that points to a recession here in the USA. Although our Commander in Chief calls it a "slow down", our economist call it a recession.
In my myopic vision, I am not witnessing people scaling back in the spending category.
Yesterday a new Swedish store, IKEA, opened about 4 miles from my house and people lined up 3 days early to be able to grab the prized $100 chair that the first 100 door-busters would receive. I had four carloads of people ask if they could park in my driveway and have me shuttle them to the store. I informed them that there were fields of parking a mere 2 miles away from the store with a free drop off service at the door. Apparently over 12,000 people were in the doors of the store before noon, following a 9 a.m. opening.

Later that day, I went to a local restaurant to pick up a carry-out order of a home-made turkey dinner (ok, store-made but it TASTES almost home-made!)
I noticed that on this Thursday night, my dining establishment, along with it's neighboring FIVE others each had jammed packed parking lots and there was a waiting line outside each building! I thought that maybe I had been transported to a twilight-zone time period and it was really some Holiday I had missed.
As I drove away I glanced over at the movie theater parking lot and they, too, had no room to spare.
Did you know that movie tickets after 6 p.m. are $9.25? Apparently these patrons were all using their movie passes given to them as a Christmas present since no one can actually afford these prices when we are in a recession! What slays me are the people who order their tickets on line and go over to a machine to print them out and they will pay MORE money, $1.00, which is more than a 10% surcharge, for the convenience on avoiding waiting 3 minutes in line.

Well, I found out the house next door that was in foreclosure was sold at a sheriff's auction for about $40,000 less than it is worth. The people who purchased it live 1 block away in a house that is worth about twice what they paid for this place. Now it DOES have a pool. The only problem is that the people who bought the discounted house, don't know if they can sell their current home.
I guess too many people spend money at restaurants and movies.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2008-03-12T16:29:00.003-04:00

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don’t change horses until .....they stop running.
2. Strike while the ......bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before.......Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of......termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but......How?
6. Don’t bite the hand that.....looks dirty.
7. No news is.......impossible
8. A miss is as good as a......Mr.
9. You can’t teach an old dog new......Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, .......you’ll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust......Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the......pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax .
14. Where there’s smoke there’s....pollution.
15. Happy the bride who......gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is.....not much.
17. Two’s company, three’s......the Musketeers.
18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you......put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You....have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as......Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not.....spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don’t succeed......get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind.....get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is....going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than....Pregnant

Wonder what they said in SECOND grade??

Email Spam-a-lot

2008-03-02T11:08:00.004-05:00

We all deal with the ignorant emails offering us such "opportunities" as an unsecured credit card with a $50,000 limit only to find out it is a shopping card inviting you to buy from a catalog that feature products that are four times the cost of what you can find at Odd Lots...or how about the $50,000/minute job working 12 minutes a week from home? Gosh, what would happen if I worked 24 minutes? How would I spend all that money?

Of course I can't believe I am related to so many people who have died in a tragic accident in Nigeria (the "accidents vary from a remote-controlled toy plane crash to a cooking session gone hay-wire), but these misfortunes somehow manage to leave me as the only person who can handle the $12 billion dollar estate of my Great Uncle Utu...but I need to send $12,000 so armed guards from Africa can come deliver the money. Hmmmm...

The best junk email that I have had the fortune of receiving was the "opportunity" to earn big bucks to help others become protected from "spammers".
Come on now...a spam email asking me to help put them out of business?
Isn't that kinda like asking Donald Trump what a good hair piece looks like?

I think my spam filter is on vacation.

Wrong Number...Honest!

2008-02-28T17:28:00.004-05:00

I have a 1-800 number for my business and when someone leaves a message on that line, I get both an email and a cell phone notification.
Today I received a wrong number from an elderly woman (Sylvia) wanting to order 3 pounds of organic coffee. She left all her personal information (well...I exaggerate..I do NOT have her dress size), including her credit card # and expiration date and 3 digit code on the back of her Mastercard.
Obviously, I felt compelled to call her back to notify her that I did not sell coffee, organic or otherwise. The phone was answered by Sylvia's older sister, Edna. When I tried to explain that Sylvia had dialed the wrong number, Edna repeated everything I said to her sister, without letting me talk with her directly. So, I was literally "tied up" with the "coffee sisters" for five minutes while Sylvia told Edna that the number she called was the number on the can. I told Edna, who repeated to Sylvia, that maybe she should have dialed a 1-888 or 1-877 or 1-866 # instead of a 1-800 # but Sylvia, through Edna, said again, that she dialed the number on the can. She must have said it 7 times! (for once, I am NOT exaggerating)

After hearing what brand, what amount and how much she liked this particular coffee a few more times, I told Edna that I would be happy to sell Sylvia some coffee but it would be from our local Kroger's grocery store and it may not be organic ~ NOR the brand she wanted.
Edna relayed that message to Sylvia and Sylvia started reading the brand of the coffee off the label on her can and of course, Edna dittoed everything said.

I finally told Edna that she would have to call back tomorrow because we were out of her coffee today.
Click.

Now I'm kinda interested in trying this coffee....and I don't even DRINK coffee!

Cousins

2008-02-28T17:18:00.007-05:00

Wouldn't it be nice if EVERYONE were blessed with the cousin who was a best pal?
Older Connor and younger Griffin have been buddies for 7 years.
May this friendship continue another 80+ years!

The Joy of Childhood

2008-02-26T09:16:00.002-05:00

Question here...has anyone seen any cuter kids between the ages of 1 and 3?
Cooper and Parker Murphy...hopefully siblings and friends forever.

Oh, dear... I hope these kids don't hold a grudge in 2028 because I posted this in 2008.

Shoo, Flu, Don't Bother Me!

2008-02-25T21:10:00.004-05:00

I REFUSE to get the intestinal super-bug that everyone I know except my mail carrier, has entertained.

I may just head out for Florida if only the weather would cooperate in stopping the icing on the cake long enough to drive over the mountains!

Super Hero Phone Needed Please

2008-02-22T10:31:00.003-05:00

HELP! Save me!
I am without a phone!
"Good gabbing, Batman, how will she survive?"
"Tell her to take deep breaths, Robin! But..I'm curious..how in the cell did is she without a phone?"
"She dropped it in the...wait..no, that was the last time she ruined her cell phone. This time she washed it with her clothes."

OK...I have to admit that I'm just a bit panicky and sure WANT to call on some superhero to get me out of this jam. I rely on my cell phone almost as much as toilet paper. I don't have a "land line" in my name anymore (I know some young whipper-snappers are wondering what a "land line" is!).
What makes this predicament even more annoying is that the city has shut down due to a little nuisance called ICE on the roads. I'm wondering if there isn't SOME cell phone distributor who would brave the elements to come deliver a device to me. But...how would I call them to inquire?

Wait just a darn minute here. I've got to put my thinking hat on.
There.
That's better.
Here I am baby-sitting a 4 month old baby! I'll just use hers!
Super baby to the rescue!

The Facts Are In

2008-02-19T21:34:00.001-05:00

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

The longest one-syllable words in the English language are "strengths" and "screeched".

The telescope on Mount Palomar, California, can see a distance of 7,038,835,200,000,000 million miles.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

I, obviously, need to go get me some of them minerals and shampoo my hair in them.